What’s the most disgusting thing that’s ever been inside your mouth and how did it get there?

  1. Bird poop, an extremely accurate shot from high above…(I still hear them laughing)

  2. When I was little I found a used condom on the pooldeck and thought it was a baloon.

  3. Poop.

    I was like 6 years old and we were having hot dogs. I went to the bathroom and did not wash my hands. When I got back to the table, I saw something that I assumed was ketchup on my fingertip- so six year old me decided to lick it.

    I am dry heaving just reliving the moment.

  4. Decaying gecko. I grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and briefly looked at it. It was clean. Or so I thought. Filled my cup up with coke. Went, sat at my computer and got back to my game, slowly sipping away. I get to the last few mouthfuls and get to this slimy thing. I spat it out real quick, and run to the sink, rinsing my mouth out. There was more in the bottom of the glass, so I pour it into the sink to inspect.

    I missed the grossness when I grabbed the glass because the glass faded to a dark colour at the bottom, so the quick cursory glance missed it.

    Coke hasn’t tasted the same.

  5. A buddy of mine dips tobacco. He was spitting into an empty beer bottle which he put down next to my beer bottle. Long story short, i took a big swig of his spit/dip mixture and ended up spraying it all over his living room. Neither of us was happy.

    Edit: It was warm too.

  6. When I first started dating my fiance, she was doing laundry at my place since I had a washer dryer. Long story short, she decided to put some detergent into a water bottle to make it easy to bring over, and in the middle of the night I found it on the bathroom sink while relieving myself. I took a swig and luckily knew something was terribly wrong before swallowing. Afterwards I couldn’t swear for three days

  7. I was awakened one morning by a foul taste in my mouth. My infant son had climbed out of his crib and was retrieving little shit balls from his diaper and putting them in my mouth. This happened a long time ago, but I still remember the taste.

  8. Live maggots. In early college I would sometimes eat uncooked ramen noodles. Just open the bag and eat the block of noodles.

    In this case it was a maggot infested block of ramen noodles. I don’t eat ramen any more.

    EDIT: others on the thread say it’s likely indian meal moth larvae. I believe them.

  9. Vagisil. Check your toothpaste before brushing.

  10. bachelor pad in my early twenties. drunk. drinking beer. did not realize that there was a ‘garbage can’ (couple week old beer can with cigarette butts, bits of old food that fell on table, etc..) on the table. taking shots of liquor with friends.

    need something to chase it with, and quickly.
    pick up wrong can and throw it back.
    takes me 2 seconds to realize.

    2 seconds is not a long time…..but next time you have a can of something, drink it for two seconds..and you’ll realize two seconds is a fucking eternity.

  11. Elephant poop. Was on a trip in Thailand and my ‘friend’ tried to push me into a pile, I grabbed him and we both slipped and went down, I got a face full of it 🙁 I have never chundered so much in my entire 31 years of being on this god forsaken planet.

  12. Taste wise? Liquid charcoal when they had to pump my stomach…

  13. I’m a home care aid. I essentially act as a “big brother” to individuals. One time, a few years back, I was taking a young man to the YMCA to do some ping pong and swimming. He had an issue with over stuffing his mouth and not chewing his food correctly so, after eating a hot dog in two bites, he began to throw up. I didn’t have a bag or anything and we were driving on the highway so I gave him a big gulp cup with some ice left in it to vomit in, which he filled to the brim with chunky hotdog puke. After my shift ended that night, on my drive home, I absent mindedly picked up my big gulp cup to get a couple ice cubes to crunch on and ended up filling my mouth with his hotdog puke. It…changed me.

    Edit: Whoa! Gold?! Thank you!

    Gonna take this opportunity to say that the person in this story is like a brother to me. We spend most of every day together, even off hours. If you know someone that has a disability or have ever thought, “I don’t know what I have in common with these kinds of people”, try to get to know them. They are fantastic and have a ton to give back to the community.

  14. A combination of ground up cow parts, poop bile and blood. It was awful. I work at a beef processing plant in probably the worst department. I’m in rendering, which means i get all the diseased cows that aren’t destined to become people food. We grind them up and send them off in a pressurized tank to be cooked down into a fine powder. Well the pressurized tank opened while it was sending and launched cow goo everywhere and i got a healthy sized mouthful of it.

  15. A duck embryo. I started by eating it at a family function, tried a bit of diplomacy by eating some of my wife’s culture foods. You know, impress the in-laws.

    Ended when I saw the beak.