What should people never try?

  1. As a kid, attempting to put kids floaties on your ankles and jumping into a pool

  2. blowing out a lit match in an ashtray.

  3. I have been on fire twice. I am doing my best to never be on fire again. I strongly suggest people not try being on fire.

  4. Putting your contact lenses in the same day you cut chillis.

    I don’t care if you’ve washed them a lot. You’re gonna have a bad time.

  5. Driving home while completely and utterly exhausted.

    The only time I have ever been responsible for a wreck I had worked a 13 hour shift that day and gotten almost no sleep the previous two nights. After staying up until 2 in the morning on the 4th of July I tried to drive back to my house, otherwise sober. I remember starting to nod off pretty much right as I got into the car and thinking, eh, it’s only like 20 minutes I got this. I woke up to a bowel-moving crash and a fire hydrant hurtling off into a field, as though it had been punted like a football.

    Totaled a car that my grandfather had given me 6 days prior. I was about 5 feet away from hitting a telephone pole that may have killed me.

  6. Driving fast/dangerously to show off. When I was young I was the first of my friends to pass my driving test and get a car, and I was an idiot trying to impress people. Luckily, all it took for me was an older driver who I nearly hit head on to get out his car, walk over to my window and say “I’m not going to shout at you, just slow down. You’re not invincible”

  7. Soup that is too hot.
    It’s just too hot…

  8. Heroin. I’ve never personally done it, but I’ve gotten close enough to know exactly how it works: you open a door to Narnia that you can’t really close or forget about. Years later it calls you back. You’re the king there, sure it’s dangerous but back home it’s boring and dangerous in a different way. You never really forget where the magic doorway is and every time things get terrible, you’ll just want to go back to where things are better and you’re someone great. After a while, it’s not so great but you keep wanting to check to see if it will be how it once was, and sometimes it is… Either way, it’s more exciting than the regular world and you aren’t a piece of shit in Narnia.

  9. Invading Russia in the winter

  10. Never, under any circumstance, put Bengay on your inner thigh/crotch area.

    I pulled my groin during soccer, put Bengay on my inner thigh that night… worst. decision. ever. my gouch was on fire.

  11. Taking advice from uninformed redditors. That has the chance of ruining you worse than most of these other comments.

  12. scientology

  13. Masturbating with soap

  14. Throwing up to lose weight. It’s hard to stop. Work with your emotions instead!

    Edit: If you think you might be missing the point–> Starting any addictive behavior that could lead to harm down the line– something with with a physiological basis– is a bad idea.

    It just won’t stop on its own! Work on the brain stuff before you get stuck in the cycle! Self harm, overeating, undereating, overexercise, anything that gives you cause to ignore your life and the lives of humans around you…you are capable and deserving of so much more than what these things bring. If you need relief from unbearable emotions, there are positive ways of getting that, promise.

    Also, if you happen to be a type 1 diabetic reading this, take your insulin no matter what. The results of restricting insulin to lose weight are horrifying. If you feel the need to self harm…just pm me.

    Double–edit: The discussion below is blowing my mind! You are all amazing and I’ll respond to you when I can tomorrow. Hang in there, because you’re not alone.

  15. Go on a 40 mile bicycle ride with a group friends who go on a long bike rides all the time. Last time I rode a bike was 4 months ago. It took me couple weeks to recover.