What is something you thought would be really sexy in bed, but wasn’t? NSFW

  1. Had a girlfriend put a Fruit Roll-Up on my cock to eat off during oral.

    Never, ever do this.

  2. Read somewhere about “cunnilingus with ice cube in mouth technique”. Tried that without telling gf. She was surprised and I think intense chill feeling on vagina when you are expecting warm tongue was too much. Out of instinct she hit me on my head and shouted, “wtf are you doing?”

    We had a good laugh.

  3. Me and GF were getting heated, she had old torn pair of pajamas on, i ripped them off her, her reaction was “meh”

  4. My girlfriend likes Smarties so I thought I was being slick as fuck having a party sized bag of them open and hid against the wall. We were making out, and in the heat of the moment I reached over and grabbed it pouring the entire bag on her stunned face, and body.

  5. My wife had bilateral hip replacement surgery, but we are quite young, both under 30, so it didn’t registered in our brains the she might had some issues with a few positions. So yeah, I’ve popped her leg right of its socket.

  6. My wife thinks biting her lip is sexy.

    I haven’t the heart to tell her it should be the bottom one..

  7. Pouring chocolate syrup on each other and licking it off. Was fun until it turned into this sticky uncomfortable mess. We were both like “umm that was interesting, wanna go shower?” I will say the shower was better than the syrup by far.

  8. I once slept with a woman who was “a demon in the sack”, complete with low guttural growling, eyes rolling to whites, and savage biting and scratching. I didn’t know whether to keep fucking her, or call an exorcist.

  9. Tearing off her panties.

    It seems so sexy, that kind of “I fucking want you NOW!” type mood, but in reality it tends to leave really bad fabric burns if the panties aren’t the right material and you don’t do it just right.

  10. Getting laid in a bathtub full of slippery, slimy, newly-scraped-out pumpkin seeds turned out to be far more intriguing in fantasy than reality.

  11. Blowing my bf at the time with a mint in my mouth. Apparently underwhelming according to him.

    ^^^I ^^^may ^^^or ^^^may ^^^not ^^^have ^^^read ^^^it ^^^in ^^^Cosmo. ^^^I’m ^^^sorry

  12. One time after a dress rehearsal for a dance recital I was in, my partner thought it would be fun if I wore my stage makeup for sexy times. He got creeped out really quickly, seeing as how my makeup resembled the dude from “A Clockwork Orange”.

  13. DON’T BITE THE CLITORIS. EVER.

  14. Anything Cosmopolitan suggests.

  15. Sex with my wife has been getting strange lately. She’s in a “nothing is sexy” phase.

    When I pull out and finish on her stomach/chest she usually loves it.

    Last time I did it, she says: “You look like a drunk guy pissing on the sidewalk”