Redditors who “went out for cigarettes” and never came back, why did you leave? Where did you go? What is life like for you now? [Serious]

  1. Lived in an abusive house with my mom. Got a job after college and in 3 months rented an apartment and went home. Took a garbage bag full of clothes and booked it.

    She didn’t want me leaving because she was talking all of my money. She would take my car when I didn’t pay her my full pay check. I had to resort to pulling fuses when I parked because she would hide my car on different streets trying to get me fired. Even in college I had finals to graduate and took my car and I had no way to get there. Had to rent a car just to take my finals.

    God…the stories I could tell…

    Anyway, waddled in the apartment with my garbage bag and nothing else slept on the floor and for the first time felt peace.

    Now have a decent job, house, wife and a kid.

  2. i was living with a very mean and controlling girlfriend. If it wasn’t her way or all about her she threw a fit. One day I had enough and said I was going to the store and just kept diving. I literally drove for 12 hours and showed up at a friends house 5 states away and asked if I could crash on his couch. I called my boss and said I wanted to quit work. He was pretty cool about it, he knew my girlfriend, and actually set me up with a job in my new city. I have never spoken to my ex since. Soon after my relocation I met my (now) wife and have not been happier. Best thing I ever did.

  3. I was living with my parents. I was 17. They told me to leave, then tried to stop me from leaving. I have been in an abusive relationship with my mom and my stepdad for years. Friends helped me load the car, that was 12 years ago. Never been back.

  4. Throwaway for good reason. I’ve always lived in an abusive home, both mentally and physically and never saw a proper way out. I started working at 14 years old in a convenience store for 8 dollars an hour and hid all of the money I made in a locked container in a nearby wooded park area. I did this because my parent would have taken my money if they knew I was working at all. By the time I turned 18 I had close to 10 thousand saved up and had finished high school. I was supposed to start university that year but early on in the summer I waited until my parents went out to work, found and took all of my documents, unenrolled out of the University program I was supposed to be in and left.

    I took a bus to Alberta and i’ve been living here since doing labour, it’s been a year and a half and they haven’t searched from me yet, not that i’m aware of at least. How is my life now? I’m poor, barely getting by but at least im living alone and happier than i was before.

    Edit: First of all I want to thank all of you for the kind words and support that you’ve written to me in this thread. Originally I wasn’t even going to write this because everytime I think about it, it brings me on the verge of tears. It’s definitely something I try to avoid discussing in real life. Reading the comments reminds me that Reddit has a great community.

  5. I joined the Army without telling anyone right before I turned 19. Had my recruiter take me to the airport.

  6. I left my home like this.

    One night, I just packed the essentials into my backpack, walked to a train station and got on a train to Newport News, VA from Pasco, WA. No one knew I was gone until 3 o’clock the next morning.

    It was to be with a girl my family was totally, 100% against.

    That was a year ago, it’s all working perfectly. I am happier now than I ever have been before.

  7. Just failed out of college. Moved back in with my dad. Things weren’t going real well between us. I was depressed and not really going anywhere. I was angry at my dad because he came down on me so hard but I was mostly angry at myself, and his attitude toward me just kind of compounded it all.

    Anyway one day after being out at a friends house and hanging out all over the city for a couple days I finally came home and things around my house were just tense and I felt like nothing and like I would never get out from under this.. weight. So I just started packing some stuff. As I was leaving I remember I was coming out of my room with a Bag. This wasn’t unusual because I would often take a bag with me when Id be gone to a friends house, but today, my dad was standing at the top of the steps just looking down at me. I remember very vividly , him standing there with his hands in his pockets kind of looking at me then looking away and he quietly just asked.

    “where you going son?”

    I just looked up like everything was normal and just said ” Im going to so and so’s house”

    He nodded slowly ” when ya com in back?”

    I shrugged slowly ” I don’t know dad”

    Somehow he knew. I could feel it. I never came back home, days turned into weeks and months and then years. I could tell he knew. It makes me so sad now when I think of it. Like I tore his heart in two. He has never been a very expressive man, but I could just tell how sad he was. I needed this though, I needed to go off on my own and suffer the real world and grow up some.

    It still hurts my heart to think about him slowly nodding after I told him ” I don’t know dad”

  8. I was at a shitty party full of shitty people doing shitty coke and drinking shitty beer. I had just put my notice in at my shitty job, hated my shitty life, and didn’t know how to make any of it better.

    So–because why the fuck not–I rallied about $100 in cash from everyone for a beer run, put half of it in my gas tank, stopped at the room I was renting and got my backpack and my sleeping bag, then drove until I was in another state and started over.

  9. I hope some of those who have left see this. Im not the one that “left” my sister did. We lived in a crappy neighborhood. My mom had depression and my dad was never home. One day she went to school (she was barely starting college) and didnt come back. she did leave a note saying that she was leaving. This tore our family apart and made my mom suicidal. My dad became an alcaholic and I was depressed. She contacted us after 2 years. I went through hell. No matter how bad things may be please contact your family members I you can. There is always someone that cares for you.

  10. American that moved to Australia for 2 years. Got a girl pregnant. Fell in “love”. Saw her for the horrible person that she really was, but stuck it out. After the baby was born I had to be sure he was mine. The test came back showing no paternal match. I confronted her. We fought, she swore up and down it was a bad test.

    Wanting to believe it, I scheduled another test for the 3 of us to go in. $800 later, 2 days before the test, she played dumb and said she never agreed to that. Told me to get out of their life, and that her child was not a science experiment. I stayed with a friend a couple days then came back. She acted like nothing happened, and wanted to just move on. Another test was no longer an option in her book.

    It was the hardest decision of my entire life, and it still makes me sick to think about…a week later I scheduled a flight back to California. I’ve been back for 4 years now. We had talked a bit over the year after I left, but just went back to her wanting to fight. After some anti-depressants and heavy drinking, I’m finally starting to feel whole again. I look at the world very differently now.

    Edit: Thank you everyone so so much for your kind words. Uplifting really. I miss that little boy with all my heart. He still has my name and a great deal of loving people that know who I am. I only hope he hears some of good about me when he is older. I did everything for them. I did what I had to.

    Edit again.. Mixed responses. Either way thank you for showing interest in my post. After having a laptop broken over my head, a vacuum slammed on me while I’m sleeping, and the brothers she filled with lies after me. I did what was necessary to diffuse the situation. Thanks for the gold kind sirs, even though I don’t deserve it. I was just sharing my story on a relevant post.

  11. I did this, basically. Told my parents I was going for a hike in the woods for a few days, instead took a flight to europe and joined the French Foreign Legion. They figured I was dead for a few weeks but eventually they figured out what I had actually done.

    It’s been almost 2 years, and I’d still rather not see them ever again, but one of these days I’m gonna have to go back and see all my younger brothers who still live there.

    As for why…it’s a long story…I didn’t have the greatest childhood. Basically I decided I had nothing better to do and life was boring as hell, so I might as well do something stupid or crazy. So I just left and never looked back. Whether or not I’m better off now than I was before is debatable, but at least I can say I’ve done something with my short little life.

  12. I left my abusive husband 7 years ago, I just walked out the door. I never spoke to him again. I had squirreled away money for years, because he controlled my income. He had this idea that I was miserable because we didn’t have children, so he tried to change that by raping me so I would get pregnant. He didn’t know I was using birth control. I had resigned my job, so I just left. I couldn’t bring children into that life.
    I went to live with my parents in a different part of the country.

    Now I live in a different country, I have a kind and loving partner, and we have a daughter! I’m happy most of the time. My family don’t tell people where I live, in case he should find out. I don’t know what happened to him. I hope he’s dead.

  13. Said I was going to uni. My sister dropped me off at the station, said my goodbye and left the country. Patents and sisters were abusive and manipulative. Lived in fear for many years since they threatened to shoot me if they found me. I struggled a lot with alcohol for years and self hurt but im happily married and don’t think of them as family at all.

  14. Growing up I was handed around from family member to family member. My parents were divorced my mother was a sociopolitical liar. My mom bounced me from relative to relative because she thought I was “just like my father” and hated that her youth disappeared quickly after having me and then my sister.

    As the years set in the abuse got worse and worse. It got more physical. Then she married a crazy former marine and things continued to escalate as I reached my teens.

    One time she hit me hard enough to chip a tooth. That’s when I had enough. I called the cops. She sent me to my grand parents house. They had never been abusive until then.

    One afternoon mid summer they went to work and I had my girlfriends dad (a veteran cop) pick me up, when he arrived I was in bad shape but sitting on the porch with all my stuff in a bag. Mad as he was as an officer, he respected that I didn’t want to involve the cops, I just wanted out.

    He let me stay with them, his wife, and his daughter (my gf). I finished out high school living with them. He and I fell away from each other during college, but Randy (her dad) I still respect to this day.

    Years later I would up and leave my home town on a whim with a car load of stuff leaving EVERYTHING behind with no warning and leave for Colorado. Just to free myself from the perpetual cycle of going no where in life.

    I now make $50,000 a year. Single and a Self made man. I lived in fear I wouldn’t ever make it. But I’m 30 and I’ve made it, at least in my mind.

  15. Parents were split and hated each other and would always put me in the middle. The drugs and alcohol they were both doing didn’t help.

    Got kicked out of each of their places and went back and forth over some shitty circumstances involving them wanting all of my money to live with them, then playing the guilt card on each other that they took me in when the other kicked me out.

    Got a steady retail job that I had to work 6-7 days a week at odd hours to get full time. 2 weeks before christmas mom said her place wasn’t a truck stop and I couldn’t come and go at all hours of the night and that I had to leave. Heard similar from her before and didn’t want to go to dad’s again so I called some family and they all refused to take me in because my mom had called and told them I hit her. Since I was still in the same house I told her she was a horrible person, but an even worse mother, and left.

    Grandma knew parents were crazy so she helped me as much as she could. Still get phone calls/emails/Facebook messages asking me when I’m “going to stop being a bitch so we can be a family again.”

    Have seen both since. Invited some “friends” through Facebook to things that they in turn invited my parents to. Finally nutted up and told them both to get the fuck out of my life. Mom still leaves me drunk/high/crying voice mails in the middle of the night either telling me she loves me or that I’m all that’s wrong with her life. Dad sends me emails telling me to get the stick out of my ass because I’m still his son.

    Still spend time with my grandma. Friends parents mean more to me than my own ever did.

    Now I’ve got a full time job, an awesome dog, working on doing better in life in general, and trying to move into a place solo.

    Blood is not thicker than water.

    Will never speak to either of them again if I can help it. No regrets.