Reddit, what is your darkest secret you’re dying to tell?

  1. I won the lottery years back. Got a lawyer, did everything the right way, invested it all in mutual funds ect… None of my friends know and very little of my family.

  2. When I was told I had cancer last week, part of me was happy because I’ve completely fucked up my life and this seemed like a get out of jail free card. I was going to fail out of college. Come to find out that I’ve got a rather large tumor in my brain which prevents me from reasoning properly. Yeah it’s going to kill me within a year, but my self-esteem has gone way up, because I’m not as dumb as I thought I was.

  3. I’m really insecure. I’m so glad I’m not controlling my relationship, or bending backwards to pleats people, but I get down very easily and pick apart all of my flaws. I feel as though I’m below the people I want to be around, and am stuck with a lot of my friends.

  4. I am so fucking bored of everything. I’m not suicidal, pretty sure I’m not depressed and I’m not even sad. I just feel unsatisfied with everything. I am slowly losing pleasure and enjoyment from everything that I do. I’ve tried going to new places, listening to new music, reading different books, watching different TV. Hell, even porn doesn’t get me excited anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just think I am becoming apathetic up to the point where I am just going to fade out of existence. I don’t know, I guess this is my dark secret because I haven’t told anyone.

  5. I got fired from my job last week, was emotionally crushed and cried like a baby. I can’t tell any of my friends for fear of losing the “smart guy of the group” stereotype.

  6. I once hooked up with a girl in college. I had a bandaid on my finger before hand. I didn’t have it after the deed was done. Never found that bandaid.

  7. I made a text short cut on my SO’s iPhone that automatically changes ”now” to “meow” when he texts. He has no idea why and always gets frustrated by it. I take great pleasure in getting texts like “I’m on my way right meow” or something.

  8. Back when I was 12 or younger, me and my other male friends would give each other “penis massages”. It’s hilarious because we had no clue what we were doing. We thought that this was what sex was like.

    Evidently this isn’t too uncommon, right?

  9. If my mother and brother died tomorrow, I’d be sad. But not that sad. They’ve tormented me for years.

  10. When I was younger my biological mother tried to kill me and my sister by stabbing us and slitting our throats. I have the scars to prove it too if anyone wants to see.

    EDIT: Here’s the imgur album for all of you curious mofos. The neck one is kinda hard to see but the chest scars are very visible.

    http://dicksoakedvaginas.imgur.com

    EDIT 2: Holy bitch tits I got my first ever gold! I also apparently have a great chest lol thanks for the confidence boost guys! =)

    EDIT 3: Here’s another link to the pics in case the first didn’t work. Thanks /u/Thesadzebra

  11. I’m constantly bored, getting out of bed is hard, and life has barely any meaning.

    Edit: Thanks a lot, everyone, I’d forgotten how kind people can be. I’m seriously considering opening up to people about this now.

  12. I took up powerlifting a few years ago. That in itself is not the secret. People think I am doing it to be strong. Really, I am doing it to be bigger and more muscular…and fatter. I am basically trying to turn myself physically into an offensive lineman on purpose. I have no idea why it appeals to be, but after spending most of my life as a scrawny nothing, I decided that I wanted to be a giant, and I am on my way to getting there.

    It is embarrassing to say that, but it is also liberating.

  13. I masterbating by sticking my dick in a stuffed crust pizza when I was young.

  14. I’m female. My mom died when I was 8. When I was a teenager I let my father have sex with me cause I thought he wouldn’t hit me if he fucked me.

  15. I had sex with a 12yo girl when I was 19. She lied about her age and had big breasts, was already sexually active and we were dating.
    When I was visiting her at her parents house, I found out the truth, I’d taken this girl to concerts, how the fuck she acquired a passable fake ID I’ll never know.
    I told her my ex and I were patching things up and we couldn’t date anymore. She said that was Ok, was a lie, but I didn’t want to go to prison for statutory rape.
    Well past the statute of limitations, so I’m not worried about it now, however I’ve never told anyone about it for fear of prison time and being labeled a registered sex offender for the rest of my life.
    Beware: early bloomers are crafty and can have fake IDs.