If you had to marry the first person you had sex with, what would your life be like now?

  1. Eating Raccoons and living in a hippie commune somewhere in west oakland. I’d also probably have a funny hair cut that my new best friend named serenity gave me with a box cutter.

  2. Nailed the farmer’s daughter next door in the back of a pickup truck at 16.

    My life would be like the first 5 minutes of Law & Order: SVU.

  3. I would be living in South Africa, working in film while recreationally using drugs.

  4. I would have most likely killed myself twice already

  5. Married to a gay man. He came out a few years after we broke up. My mother still makes fun of me after 9 years….

  6. We’d be divorced.

  7. fucking awful. she’s pregnant with my best friend’s kid

  8. I’d probably be dead by now because she died in a plane crash on holiday. 🙁

  9. Oooh, I would have Australian citizenship!

    But I’d be married to an emotionally-stunted bag of dicks 🙁

  10. I’d be a heroin-addicted, grossly overweight mother of 7 living off the government and waiting for my emotionally abusive husband to come home from his job at the local textiles mill, when he’ll kill a 6-pack in an hour and beat our pitbulls. Ahh, the one that got away…

  11. Well I would be alone so…good

  12. My children would resemble potatoes.

  13. Awful. She is what yanks call trailer trash.

  14. I would probably have Canadian Citizenship. Oh to dream