Happily married people of reddit, when did you realize your marriage was awesome and what makes it awesome?

  1. The moment when I realized that the more stressed out or exhausted she was by her career, the easier it was to bring her to hysterical, pants-peeing laughter.

    She’s starting a new job and trying to launch her freelance work this week. I can completely shut her down laughing by reading the grocery list in a funny voice.

  2. I realized it was awesome before I proposed…which is why I proposed.

    I couldn’t tell you why I love my wife, it isn’t some defining quality that I can identify. It’s just her, as a person. I feel like I can completely be myself around her with no pretense. I can’t think of another person I would want to spend my life with.

    I dated girls for far longer than we dated before I proposed and we are 5 years into our marriage and it’s still awesome.

  3. I realize my marriage is awesome every day, and I appreciate it’s awesomeness every single day.

    One time my husband and I were on a long-ass road trip, so I was going through a book of questions, asking him stuff while he drove. Like, “If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be?”-type stuff. And one of the questions was, “If you could re-live your life over again, knowing everything you know now, what would you do differently?” His answer was, “I wouldn’t do anything differently, because I wouldn’t want to risk not ending up with you. So I would do everything exactly the same, counting down the days until I met you again.” And my answer to that question is the exact same.

    I still get butterflies when I think about my husband. I’ll be at work, and think about something he said and I’ll start giggling to myself, because he’s so handsome and funny and sexy. I’m so proud that he’s my husband and I’m his wife. It makes me happy every day.

    Okay, so, yeah, I’ll end with this. My husband and I sit on opposite sides of the couch, but facing each other with our legs tangled up together. And we like to give each other foot rubs. He has man feet. Big, hairy man feet. And I love them. He has the best feet. Always rub your partner’s feet. And when you rub your partner’s feet, think of this poem by Pablo Neruda, and remember to appreciate your partner and his or her feet:

    I love your feet
    because they have
    wandered over
    the earth and through
    the wind and water
    until they brought
    you to me.

  4. I realized my marriage was awesome with a pretty simple moment. He had done something that bothered me (I can’t even remember what, but it was trivial) and to “get back” at him, I didn’t wash some dishes he needed for the next morning when it was my turn to do them.

    As soon as I saw him a while later, I found myself confessing my stupid passive-aggressive behavior, telling him what I did and why. Instead of him being upset or PA back at me, he just laughed. Then I laughed. He still teases me about that moment and I’m happy to say it’s really the only passive-aggressive thing that has happened since we’ve been married.

    I know it’s cliche, but it really is communication that makes our marriage awesome. That and a sense of humor and lots of honesty. In previous relationships, I was definitely passive-aggressive and didn’t speak up when things bothered me. I think he was that way, too. But now I tell him as soon as anything upsets me in any way and we figure it out. He does the same.

    The honesty can be hard (especially for someone like me who doesn’t like confrontation) but it’s worth it since it makes dealing with everything so much easier without letting it fester for days or weeks.

    I could go on and on about all the things that make my marriage great. They’re pretty universal, so I’d say these are the most important things:

    • honesty
    • not being passive aggressive when something bothers you
    • letting them see you being vulnerable
    • telling them how you feel (good or bad)
    • lots and lots of physical contact (hugging, holding hands) makes your life together feel happily intimate over time
    • being your ridiculous self around them (give in to impulses to dance around, make stupid jokes, and be cheesy)
  5. We’re happily married, though I wouldn’t say “awesome” best describes what we have, I’d like to answer this question anyway because no one has an only awesome relationship. I love my wife very much and when things are good they are really good. We fight, we get mad, sometimes over stupid things but not always. We have similar passions which is really important and empathize well with each others feelings. Have there been surprises? Definitely… both good and bad, and being married has been so much different than I expected. The thing that really makes me sure that we will survive, is that I can’t picture trying to do get through this life without her, that we truly enjoy spending time with one another, even if it’s doing nothing. I know that I am a fully capable adult but with her I feel unstoppable and I actively aim to be the same inspiration for her. Are things always awesome? …no way, would I change it? …no way.

    Edit: Holy cow, Thank you, thank you, thank you! I came back to see gold and so many other incredible responses, for those of you who asked questions I will reply first thing tomorrow morning to all of you. I’m laying next to her now and she asked what I was smiling about, read her the post, just said “aww” and went back to Facebook haha, she’s great.

  6. My marriage has always been awesome, it wasn’t something that needed to be realised. We communicate, cooperate and are each others best friend. We have all the passion that we ever had, still after all these years.

  7. I like always having someone on your team, where you know that someone who loves you will always put your best interests first.

    Even if I’m in the wrong she’ll back me up publicly (although I’ll hear it from her later) and same goes other way. If I’m become bedridden tomorrow and need a diaper changer for the remainder of my life I’m fairly certain she’d be changing my diapers, and I’d do the same for her.

  8. I remember going on a Girl Scout weekend with a bunch of moms and their daughters. I was a little nervous, as most of the moms in this group had the picture perfect husbands and lives.

    We were sharing about our husbands and I made the random comment that my husband still washed my hair in the shower. “Your husband washes your hair?” said one of the moms, incredulously. That was the moment I stopped worrying about not being the richest or prettiest one there.

    My husband and I have been together 26 years (married 21). He’s pretty awesome. Little kindnesses go a long way.

  9. This thread makes me excited to be married to someone awesome one day. I have an amazing partner that fits all of these qualities, and I hope it lasts as long as all of you happily married people!

  10. 21 years this April, and I just keep finding more things to love about him. We still hold hands, and tell each other we love you more! Would I marry him again? In a heartbeat, would I change anything in my life? No, because I may never have met him. He is my best friend, and I am his. I only regret we didn’t find each other sooner in life.

  11. I married my best friend. 🙂 We met in college and were together for 5 years before getting married. I think this gave us a lot of time to get to know each other. We lived together for 4 of those years and getting married felt really natural. Got married, been married for 4 years this year. We went through a military deployment, law school, the bar exam and now have a 14 month old. The last year has been really challenging. Our daughter almost died, has a lot of long-lasting medical issues which has been incredibly stressful. It has tested our marriage for sure.

    I always knew that my marriage was awesome because we bring out the best in each other. But I didn’t realize how much we were in tune with each other until we had our daughter. I could tell when he needed to break down, and I supported him. When I needed to just break down and cry,he held me and supported me. When times get hard now we always tell ourselves “We make the best team.”

  12. Well, the first moment I had that thought after we got married was the first night on our honeymoon. We were road tripping to New York, and the first hotel we stopped at us gave us two queen-sized beds with SO MANY blankets and pillows. We were both exhausted from the long busy wedding day and had planned on just sleeping as soon as we got in, but we ended up deciding we needed to make a fort with all the bed stuff we weren’t going to use. Then we slept. Having someone to share goofy impulses with is awesome 🙂

  13. I’ve known our relationship was awesome for a very long time, and it turned into an awesome marriage (because when you’ve already been cohabitating for five years not much really changes when you get married).

    I literally just saw this thread when my husband and I were sitting on the couch, right before I got up to get a snack from the fridge. When I opened the door, the (empty, as we were between sticks) butter dish took a swan dive and crashed at my bare feet. Glass went everywhere (note to self, buy PLASTIC replacement dish, even if glass is prettier). I stood still processing what happened, and my husband shouted to stand still. He picked up the big pieces with paper towels, then grabbed the vacuum. I had him stand at the edge of the kitchen, holding the vacuum so it wouldn’t roll as I used the bendy extension thing (housewife I am not, I don’t know the name of the attachments) while I did some impressive vacuum yoga, sucking up all the little shards since I still couldn’t move. He helped direct me to pieces I couldn’t see.

    All of this happened without a single harsh word between us or raising our voices. He left the top compartment of the fridge door open, which is why the dish fell out. Instead of chastising him for this, I took into account his ADHD (diagnosed) and the fact that the reason it was open in the first place was he cooked us breakfast this morning (homemade crepes!). I have OCD (diagnosed) and my dad’s impatience and temper at times, but over the years have worked really hard to subdue those traits in favor of the bigger picture. I was especially motivated because usually the people I’m harshest with are those closest to me, and my husband is the most kind hearted, empathetic, and understanding man ever. I wanted to be better for him and for us. He also has worked really hard to find solutions for things that may crop up with his ADHD.

    So, in summary this was an example of teamwork, understanding, trust, humor (we giggled about my vacuum yoga), and the work we’ve both put in over time. If that isn’t a shining example of the things it takes to have an awesome marriage, I don’t know what is. Who knew Reddit and the desire for a cup of applesauce could make me stop and think about how awesome my marriage is?

    Edit: fixed typos

  14. we’ve been together since sophomore year of college ~20 years now. Every day is not necessarily awesome – we define/re-define boundaries, call each other out on what doesn’t work, and communicate even when it is easier to just slam the door.
    But the awesomeness is a constant, long term thing. There is no one else I’d rather share my success or failure with and no one else who can make me laugh as much or feel safe as much.
    Its awesome but it is shaped by our shared ambition for it to be awesome.

  15. Thank you for making this. The other thread was making me sad, too, since my husband and I have been working through some issues.