As a kid, what was your worst “Shit, my parents are going to kill me” moment?

  1. I tripped my little sister and she broke her arm. Amazing, she told everyone that she tripped over a stick, and she kept up the lie for fifteen years until we were both out of college.

  2. in fourth grade I drew some sexual scenes thinking I was the coolest kid in the world. I got caught by the teacher so I ran toward the trash and throw the paper. the teacher ignored it so I thought it was over. later that day I am in the teacher office, my dad was there, the drawing on the table. my life flashes before me.

  3. When I tried to throw a large stone over moms car. I could not throw it over the car.

  4. When I was 13, I got a new laser pointer. I’d get bored and shine it in people’s windows at night for just a second, just enough to mess with their heads. One night a cop showed up on my porch and threatened to take me to jail. My mother was not amused.

  5. My dad bought me a car for my 18th birthday. Within the first month I accidentally scratched the side against an underground parking lot cement pole. I was so scared to tell my dad what I had done, but when I did his response was “well that’s why I bought you a shitty car”

  6. Not me, but when my brother was 17 he backed his truck up into my dads 1951 Pontiac. Now my dad bought this car when he was a teenager and spent years fixing it up, and was always really careful with it.

    My brother was so scared to tell him that he didn’t come home for a week.

  7. When I was about ten years old, it was a couple days before July 4th so we had a bunch of fireworks sitting around. We had some Piccolo Petes, (these horrible fireworks that just screech loudly for 10 seconds and do nothing else), and I took it in the backyard. Now about 10 minutes beforehand, my mom had told me not to light off any fireworks before the 4th. So I’m out there playing with my magnifying glass burning leaves and shit, and I decide to see if the magnifying glass can light a firework wick. But of course, I was going to stop it before it actually went off!

    So I see sparks flying, and I panic. I drop the magnifying glass and run inside where I meet face to face with my mom. She takes one look at me and says “What did you do?”. So I just stand there for a couple seconds sweating bullets, knowing what’s about to happen. Then from the backyard you hear the unholy screeching of the firework begin to sound. You could see the look on her face slowly change from “I know you’re up to something” to “You’re a fucking idiot.”

  8. We were young, and took my GF’s fathers car for a spin into town. Avoided cops and had a great night, rushed it back to the garage in time for the prefect crime. He walks in, and we are all smug in the knowledge we had got away with something major. Until he asks why his car is wet when it’s been garaged all night. I really thought we were in for it, but he laughed it off, before pulling me aside and advising me if we ever did it again, he would have my balls as a hood ornament

  9. When I was around six years old, the doctors had to have a pin put into one of my fingers to straighten it out. During school at lunch I pulled it out because I could. I soon realized I was fucked and they had to put another back in… when i was awake

  10. I lit a mormon church dumpster on fire when I was 8 using a dried up palm tree branch. I ran away, but then came back to see if things got worse… The fire department and police were there along with a crowd, and a family that saw me do it and run away pointed me out to the cops.

  11. When I was 15 my parents went on a short trip and left me home alone. I invited 6 people over. SIX! Around 50 or 60 came.

    There were kids there of all ages and, obviously, things got pretty messy. Spilled drinks, broken candleholder worth $800.00, the hot tub…oh man, the hot tub was seriously disgusting. People went in with clothes on, I found bottles and cans at the bottom, not to mention how many people had likely gotten off in there…

    One friend got so drunk I found her on my water bed (Yeah, that’s how cool I was), she had taken off the covers and was laying on the plastic…naked and rubbing herself all over. We covered her up and she soon ran into my bathroom and proceeded to puke everywhere. Everywhere. Shower, all over the toilet (barely in it), on the sink, and somehow on the fucking mirror. I made her clean it up herself.

    Here’s the worst part of all. The “Holy shit my parents are going to kill me!” part. Until now it was all things I could cleanup but I found out shortly after calling it a night and telling people to head home that my parents big liquor cabinet in the basement had been completely raided. Whiskey, rum, vodka, all sorts of big ass bottles were either empty or gone. I’m talking a good 35ish bottles.

    The older kids that were there (grade 12/oac guys) actually stayed afterwards to help me deal with it. We gathered all the empty bottles we could find and filled them with either water or water and the right amount of coke to make the color seem right. Placed the bottles in the cabinet making it seem as full as possible and hoped for the best.

    Fucked up part… I never got caught. I was never asked about all the shitty alcohol in the basement. I finally asked my mother when I was about 28 and her eyes widened in shock. Apparently those bottles they used to give away as gifts to people, so they just never knew.

    TL;DR Had a huge party, parents liquor cabinet raided, covered it up and got lucky as shit.

  12. I made a slingshot out of a piece of wood and some elastic. Thought I should test it out by shooting the back window of my parents van.

    Slingshot worked.

  13. i was cooking in our microwave (in my defense it was an old microwave) and it suddenly started making weird crackling noises. i looked in and the interior roof has a small fire right in the middle. So i did the only think an 8 year old would do i yelled fire and sprinted out of the house and left my mum who had to run out of the shower to put it out

  14. When I was about 10 I was playing with a friend who lived down the street. His younger brother and my younger sister both wanted to play hide and seek. We begrudgingly agreed and said we would be “it” first. We found this bucket of liquid and for some reason thought it was glue. It was at this point we decided to spread it all around the safe zone thinking if we couldn’t catch them it would stop them so we could tag them. It wasn’t glue. It was some kind of solvent. My sister ran through it, slipped, and landed directly on her head. Blood and tears everywhere. Thought she was dead. Was convinced I was either going to jail or my parents would kill me. Turned out to be fine. Didn’t even need stitches. Only grounded for like 2 weeks.

  15. Not me, but when my uncle was about 12, he broke glass cup while doing kid stuff his living room. Having new found shards of glass at his disposal, he decided he was going to test just how sharp broken glass really was……by seeing if it could cut through his parents thick waterbed matress. It could.