What’s the strangest thing you’ve found at someone else’s home?

  1. Cable guy here.

    Dead cats behind entertainment centers.

    Dildos all the time. One lady likes to call us and leave them out on purpose.

    Slipped on a used condom once.

    Piles of fly covered chicken bones 3ft high next to a brown stained sheetless mattress.

    The wrong kind of sorority girls on a 8am call.

    The right kind of sorority girls on an 8am call.

    Piles and piles of porn mags.

    Sticky keyboards.

    Smelly hippies.

    Hoarding. So much.

  2. A pair of tighty whiteys with a giant skid mark, sunny side up in the middle of the living room floor. We were like 12, maybe, and her whole family was just walking over and around it like it wasn’t there. I couldn’t stop looking at it in horror; I mean, it smelled! Their house wasn’t the cleanest, but it wasn’t a complete cesspool, either. I was totally grossed out, but she ended up being my best friend for 10 years, so I guess I got over it!

  3. 13 or so at a friends house and I found a stash of magazines filled with naked men. I couldn’t figure out why he would collect magazines with naked men. I was VERY naive back then.

    edit: a word (thanks /u/return0)

  4. True story: I was about 9 and visiting my grandmother for a few days. Being a bored kid in a neighborhood full of nice old people, I ended up at the house across the street eating lemonade and cookies.

    He had a pistol in a display case on the mantel, and so I asked him about it. He said “Oh, that’s from an old client of mine. His name was Jack Ruby and he used it to kill a man named Lee Harvey Oswald who killed the president. Would you like to hold it?” Of course I accepted, and it was totally badass. Turns out he was Jack Ruby’s attorney and was given the gun after the trial. I asked my grandmother about it and she confirmed he wasn’t bullshitting.

  5. It was around Christmas time when I was in high school. I went to a friend’s house and noticed there was a newspaper on the floor, under the cuckoo clock.

    She said her mother always kept it there, just in case.

  6. While taking care of the plants and animals of my neighbors house while they were away for the week, i felt like taking a look at what they have in the popsicle department. I looked in the freezer in their garage and found their dog… Their dog that had died a few years before… frozen…

  7. Another dildo here. Not just any dildo.

    A fucking horse dildo. In a (male) friends bedroom. At least 20″. Clearly well used (but clean, thank god). I can’t really judge, the twisted shit that gets me going, but still shocked me. I mean why? why? How is that even nice? Exactly how long do you expect your arse to last?

  8. A five foot, full color, bloody, crucified Jesus statue.

    It was the first thing I saw when I walked into my friends house the first time. I was 12 at the time and it freaked me out. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want that in their house. I thought they were psychopaths.

  9. My friend had penis figures everywhere. Like, he had a hutch of penis figurines

  10. It’s another dildo story…well kinda..

    So I think I was about 7 years old and innocent when it came those things sexual as most of us were back then. I was the youngest by a long way in a large family and some of my siblings were already in their 20’s and had families of their own, but they included me like one of their own kids a lot so I have often out with my brothers or sisters. On this one occasion my brother and his wife took me over to their friend’s house and because the friends had a young son my age I was sent of with the kid to entertain ourselves.

    After playing with all his toys, playing some games on his Sega, and being told to leave the adults alone as they played poker in the living room we eventually started exploring the other boy’s father’s office. In the bottom drawer (isn’t it always?) of his desk we hit the jackpot and after playing around, doing impersonations, and just generally doing dumb boy stuff we argued over who got to show the adults what we’d found. The other kid pulled rank because it was his house, so we marched up the hallway and burst into the living room and surprised the group of about 6 people playing cards.

    “I’m a clown, look at my big fake nose” said my 7 year old mate, with his Mum’s 9 inch strapon fastened to his face.

    We thought it was hilarious and couldn’t understand why I had to go home with my brother and his wife and why the kid’s mum was so upset about a fake nose. A couple of years later though we worked it all out.

  11. I was on a road trip to Washington DC, and we decided to stay the night at my friend’s Fraternity Brother’s bay house a couple of hours down the road. What we didn’t know is that the friend’s family had tried to sell the house to a witch, who destroyed the house and never made a rent payment. Half the house was torched, the grass was waist high (I’m 6’1), and only one power outlet in the entire house actually worked.

    We walked downstairs and there was a room about 8×10, all concrete, with 4 or 5 washing machines, an old dirty mattress on the ground in the middle of them, and a dead bird with it’s head cut off in a plastic bag laying on the floor….

  12. My GI joe action figure that I thought I lost, fuck you ross, thinking your so cool because your mom got you a play station.

  13. Piles of hardened dog shit. And flies in the middle of winter.

  14. Cleaning out my step-father’s rental after the renters trashed it and left owing about 6 months in back rent. Place had no real furniture in it but they had somehow gotten about 50-60 trash bags full of clothing from some place like goodwill or salvation army. They were using these bags of clothes in lieu of furniture. Bag-of-clothes-bed, bag-of-clothes-chairs, etc.

    The renters had apparently also had about 10 pets total and never bothered to let them out. There was cat and dog shit all over the place, smooshed and ground into the clothing that spilled haphazardly from the endless ripped open bags of clothing. It was a nightmare to clean up. Dad basically ordered one of those construction site dumping bins that get dropped off via semi-trailer.

    As horrifying as this all sounds, though, the worst thing was found after we finally started getting close to the floor. Tossed away into a corner under about 4 bags of clothing and animal feces was a bag full of cremains (ashes of a dead person for those who do not know) just left there, forgotten and abandoned. The name and dates of birth/death were on the outside of the box the cremains were packed in. Some 21 year old kid who probably died tragically and then was left behind like trash.

    By the time we found them, my step-dad was so done with everything he just tossed the cremains into the bin with the rest of the trash, but my step-brother and I fished them out later and had an impromptu burial in a small forest near the house.

    The whole experience sort of highlighted for me the fragility and futility of human life. Even the best of us eventually just become trash buried in the ground somewhere, or tossed into a lake, ocean, volcano or the vastness of space. C’est la vie.

  15. I dropped something and it rolled under my best buddies bed. I went looking for it. The space between the bed and the floor was packed with empty water bottles, and some of them got shoved out from under the bed during my search. My item reclaimed, I took a moment to look at the bottles before I shoved em back under there. Now, I’m not gonna say they were ALL filled with used condoms. But a worrying number of those empty water bottles had a used condom just chilling inside em.

What is a small prediction you have for the future?

  1. The new Incredibles Movie will center around Jack-Jack

  2. The Simpsons will end in its 30th season.

    It’s already guaranteed 2 more seasons, putting it at 28 seasons. It already secured its place as the weekly primetime scripted series with the all-time most seasons after its 21st season. However, Gunsmoke still holds the record for the all-time most episodes with 635. Season 28 will give The Simpsons 625 episodes. That means that it will probably come back for a 29th season, but they can’t just end on a number like that, so they will have it run one more season and end on a nice, even 30.

    Edit: For those of you listing RAW and anime shows, they are not in the same category, since it is not on a major broadcasting network.

  3. The queen will die on December 18, 2015.

  4. The next president of the US will be white

  5. Self driving cars will create a sub class of workers who will live out of their vehicles without having to stop to sleep, but only occasionally eat, as they travel between job sites. Similar to how the combination of the airline industry and cheap oil created an entire class of frequent flyer employees.

    These will probably be jobs that require highly specialized skills that cannot be done remotely via internet connection, but are common enough that flying is too expensive. Something along the lines of mechanics/operators for highly sophisticated construction equipment.

    Edit: TY4Au. So am I one of the cool kids yet?

  6. The Warcraft movie won’t be as good as I want it to be.

  7. Luddites and a serious anti-technology subculture will become prominent.

  8. Judging by the smell coming from the kitchen, the dinner my wife is cooking will be delicious.

    Edit: It was. I’m fucking Nostradamus.

  9. Smart Dildos so we can geniously fuck ourselves.

  10. The Chance and Frank Ocean album is coming

  11. Obama is going to push for marijuana to be removed from schedule 1 classification before he leaves office. Similar to his endorsement of gay marriage at the end of his first term.

  12. I have a feeling personal drone assistants are going to become a thing. Think siri/cortana but as a drone that can physically do things for you (like pick things up) and follow you around.

    All this technology exists. I’ve seen drones that follow you around and record you, personal assistant voice driven apps already exist, and amazon already has drones that pick things up.

    Think Navi from Orcarina of Time but as a drone. Admit it, you’d want one.

    Edit – I know a lot of people hate it when people do this, but thanks again for the gold! You’re amazing.

    Here is a link to Amazon’s drones.
    Here is the drone that follows you around.

    Edit 2 – The number of hey listens! is accurate.

  13. In places suffering from extreme climate change, cities will grow inward. Buildings will start connecting to each other until you can cross the city without ever stepping outside.

  14. 1: “Trousers are gonna stop being made”

    2: “We’re gonna get weaker”

    3: “We’ll blend all our food”

    4: “Glasses that let you live where you want to live”

    5: “More letters in the alphabet”

    • Karl Pilkington
  15. Graphene will be used to clean up oil spills that still pollute the oceans, decades after the disasters that distributed that oil.

    Right now it’s viable oil, it just can’t be separated from the water. But graphene sponges can absorb the oil without the water. Simple pressing of the graphen will remove the oil, and it can be used for commercial purposes. The environment is cleaner, we have more oil– everyone wins. The only reason we aren’t doing this already is that we’re still working on improvements for industrial creation of graphene. The tech exists and is prevalent in a few major labs around the world, but it doesn’t exist on an industrial scale yet. Once we get that, someone has an oil cleaning cash cow for a bit.

    They’ve just got to jump on that before we make the switch from fossil fuels to electric cars. So, like– in the next twenty years most likely.

What are some really creepy things our society consider perfectly normal?

  1. Embalming is pretty weird. Oh look that little boy was hit by a car and died. Let’s cover him in makeup, glue his eyelids shut, and put him in a suit so everyone can look at his adorable little corpse. That’s freaking creepy.

  2. Drinking other species’ breast milk: kinda weird but totally normal.
    Drinking our own species’ breast milk, on the other hand, is horrifying to us past a certain age.

  3. Making social media pages for their children.

  4. Purity Balls are really, really creepy, and I feel like most probably find them creepy. But there’s a subset of people who find them perfectly normal and correct. I have three daughters, so I find it particularly messed up.

  5. Surveillance. How watched we are. “We don’t want British citizens to be able to send messages we can’t read.” I find this super scary.

  6. Commercials selling us prescription pills.

  7. A lot of people consider following a woman around (a-la Nicholas Sparks novel) to be “romantic”. That’s really fucking creepy, and it’s kind of an unhealthy thing to encourage.

  8. Being encouraged to burn an effigy of someone on a bonfire.

  9. laughing at others severe misfortune bothers me but it happens often.

  10. People getting brutally raped in prison and it is considered ok to make jokes about it in the mainstream media.

  11. in the USA, Child Beauty pageants. like wtf super creepy. Its like something the subway guy would like

  12. I think open casket funerals are incredibly unsettling. Seeing a loved one lying there, looking like they’re sleeping except they don’t look quite right. Personally, I’d prefer people to remember me as I was when I was alive, instead of seeing my scare-crow body laid out on display for a room full of people.

  13. Gory horror movies such as Saw. It’s totally normal to watch people be tortured for fun.

  14. Taking pictures of strangers without their permission and posting them on the internet. I know there’s no expectation of privacy when you’re out in public but it’s still creepy as fuck, no matter what your intentions are.

  15. Sexual objectification of young girls in the entertainment industry. We make them dress them up like little whores and then get mad when anyone comments that they look a bit sexualized. This awful trend has leaked out into general society and we wonder why young girls show their boobs at the drop of douchebag’s hat.

What is awkward but really shouldn’t be?

  1. Asking someone for money they owe you.

  2. Asking my roommate to do basic household chores. (General clean up, dishes, don’t put out a grease fire with water)

  3. Leaving someone’s yard sale without buying anything.. and you were the only one there.

  4. Trying to park while the person next to you is getting into/out of their vehicle.

  5. When you say bye to someone, then inexplicably run into them again a few minutes later.

  6. Asking someone to repeat something for the third+ time.

  7. Opening presents in front of someone.

  8. Walking the same speed as someone else

  9. For me, making friends as an adult.

  10. When you arrange a meet up with someone and you spot each other from far away, then have to walk towards each other not really sure if you should just stare at them or just ignore them until you get within greeting range.

  11. Having older people sitting in the backseat of a car

  12. Accidentally touching your friend’s hand while walking together.

  13. Forgetting someone’s name.

    It’s not like you can help it! 🙁

  14. Running on the streets instead of walking when you are in a hurry.

  15. Telling someone they’ve got something on their face or in their teeth (something they can fix in 2 seconds).

Which movie has the most WTF ending ?

  1. in grease where the car just fucking flies away

  2. “Time Bandits”.

    It’s a strange movie about a kid who travels through time with a gang of little people. They defeat a sorcerer named Evil, who dies and explodes. The kid wakes up at home in his bed.

    The house is full of smoke. Firefighters pull the kid out of the house. Apparently, the fire was caused by the parents’ new microwave. The parents open the microwave, and see something smoldering inside. It’s a piece of Evil. The kid warns them not to touch it, but they do.

    The kid’s parents explode. The end.

  3. Burn After Reading made me say audibly, “What the fuck did I just watch?”

  4. I have a friend who used to work at a video store, and they constantly got complaints about broken or defective VHS tapes of Month Python and the Holy Grail.

    They had to patiently explain to people that the tape was fine, and in fact, that is exactly how the movie ends.

  5. Perfume: The story of murder. Giant Orgy, then people eating the main character alive.

  6. [Oldboy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldboy(2003film) The ending of this movie is so fucked up it’s unbelievable.

  7. Funny Games. Thats not supposed to happen.

  8. The Mist.

  9. Arlington Road. Just. Wow. And the way they added the news reports at the end just topped it off for me.

  10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    EDIT: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

  11. The Departed.

  12. American History X

  13. Knowing with Nic Cage. That whole movie was one big WTF.

  14. Cabin in the Woods but in an awesome WTF way

  15. Odd Thomas. It was very sad.

What is your #1 workout song?

  1. X gon give it to ya


  3. Personally, it’s “The Trooper” by Iron Maiden. That pumps me up whenever I hear it.

  4. CTRL + F “ABBA” no results… Guess nobody else likes to lift to Dancing Queen at 5:30am

  5. Backseat freestyle by Kendrick Lamar gets me pumped and in the zone to blow off steam on a heavy bag workout

  6. Welcome Home – Coheed and Cambria

  7. Killing in the name – rage against the machine

  8. Pendulum – Immunize is amazing for workouts, gets me so fuckin pumped.

  9. My go-to choices are The Prodigy – Smack My Bitch Up NSFW, Motorhead – The Game and the montage theme by Vince Dicola for Rocky IV.

  10. Inanimate Sensation by Death Grips, I can’t help but push myself really hard when I hear that song.

  11. Number 1: Roy Jones – Can’t Be Touched ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoCOg8ZzUfg

  12. Creating a spotify playlist as quick as I can

    Edit: I’m also creating playlists for separate genres, here’s one for electronic and one for hip-hop, with rock, metal, and pop coming soon! If you believe I’m missing anything from a specific genre feel free to tell me!

    Edit 2: I now have separate metal, punk, pop, and R&B/Soul/Funk playlists.

  13. Final Edit (Maybe)

    After many requests, I did it. Here’s the 158 song playlist. I know there are some others from other users, which is awesome, but I kept adding more stuff. So this is it, I’m not adding anything else. It’s been a blast everyone!

    I ran out of space, so bonuses beyond 8 (acapella rap, kpop, motivation speeches, and two lists from /u/PretendstoKnowThings) can be found here

    Just going to compile some of the listed songs with links, because nobody is doing that. A couple people have also been kind enough to make Youtube and Spotify playlists. Some are probably missing a few songs, since I’m updating every twenty minutes or so, but you should be able to get most of it if you dig through the comments!

    Til I Collapse – Eminem feat. Nate Dogg

    X Gon Give It To Ya – DMX

    Control – Big Sean feat. Kendick Lamar & Jay Electron

    Dreamchaser – Firewind

    Forever – Drake feat. Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Eminem

    Killing In The Name – Rage Against the Machine

    Sandstorm – Darude

    Electioneering – Radiohead

    Cinderella Man – Eminem

    Cowboys From Hell – Pantera

    The New Workout Plan – Kanye West

    Blood On The Leaves – Kanye West

    I’ll Make a Man Out of You – Mulan

    Push – Hamilton

    Mr. Self Destruct – Nine Inch Nails

    Greek Fire – Turisas

    At the Drive In – Cosmonaut

    The Secret of my Success – Night Ranger

    Undead – Hollywood Undead

    Burn – Meek Mill feat. Big Sean

    Welcome to the Jungle – Guns N’ Roses

    Breathe – The Prodigy

    Remember the Name – Fort Minor

    Heart of a Champion – Nelly

    End of Me – Apocalyptica

    Never – Footloose

    The Fire – The Roots

    Don’t Slow Down – Matt & Kim

    Thunderstruck – AC/DC

    Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

    In Da Club – 50 Cent

    Power – Kanye West

    You’re The Best Around

    Walk – Foo Fighters

    You & Me (Flume Remix) – Disclosure

    Rabbit Run – Eminem

    Indestructible – Disturbed

    The Four Horsemen – Metallica

    Work Out – J Cole

    Going the Distance – Bill Conti

    Forgive and Forget – Miss May I

    Reptile – Skrillex

    Blood and Thunder – Mastodon

    Come Up and Get Me – Death Grips

    Lost in the Echo – Linkin Park

    Where the Hood At – DMX

    Tom Sawyer – Rush

    Labyrinth – Earthquake feat. Tinie Tempah

    Best of You – Foo Fighters

    Barracuda – Heart

    Will put in more as more stuff gets posted. Let me know if I screwed anything up, because I probably did.

    Also, as a thanks for the gold, I’ll put in some others that I haven’t seen posted (although who knows, maybe they were) that I personally really enjoy.

    Warriors – Imagine Dragons

    You’re Gonna Go Far Kid – The Offspring

    All Star – Smashmouth

    Eminem – Rap God

    We Own It – 2 Chainz feat. Wiz Khalifa

    Warrior Pt. 2 – Lloyd Banks feat. Eminem, 50 Cent & Nate Dogg

    For a second gold I’m adding instrumentals!

    Protectors of the Earth – Two Steps From Hell

    The Drift – Blackmill

    Exhibit 13 – Blue Man Group

    Dream Chasers – Future World Music

    The Legend of Zelda Music – Koji Kondo

    Unstoppable – E.S. Posthumus

    Final Frontier – Thomas Bergerson

    Theme From Mission: Impossible – Larry Mullen & Adam Clayton

    Third gold gets us a female pop star power jam session!

    Fergalicious – Fergie

    I Knew You Were Trouble – Taylor Swift

    Roar- Katy Perry

    U + Ur Hand – Pink

    Diamonds Remix – Rihanna feat. Kanye West

    Bang Bang – Jessie J feat. Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj

    Bring Me to Life – Evanescence

    Girls Just Want to Have Fun

    Milkshake – Kelis

    Someone had to pull the trigger… I hope you’re all proud of yourselves. Well after some looking into boy bands it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Here we go.

    Story of My Life – One Direction

    Bye Bye Bye – N Sync

    Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) – Backstreet Boys

    Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers

    The Hardest Thing – 98 Degrees

    Losing Sleep – Boys II Men

    Fa La La – Justin Bieber feat. Boys II Men

    You Got It (The Right Stuff) – New Kids on the Block

    Drag Me Down – One Direction

    Fifth gold hasn’t gotten back to me, so for now it’s going to be an oldies pack courtesy of /u/ItsSugar! Thanks for the help with this one man, I really appreciate it.

    Push It to the Limit – Corbin Bleu

    Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins

    Maneater – Hall & Oates

    What I Like About You – The Romantics

    War – Edwin Starr

    All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix

    Footloose – Kenny Loggins

    Stayin’ Alive – Bee Gees

    As promised, violin music. No promises that this is the highest quality stuff, but I did what I could!

    Thunder – Nuttin’ But Stringz

    Roundtable Rival – Lindsey Stirling

    A Flat – Black Violin

    300 Violions – Jorge Quintero

    He’s A Pirate (Violin Cover) – Taylor Davis

    Hip Hop Violin Medley – Josh Vietti

    For gold number seven we are getting music from cartoons!

    Sweet Victory – Spongebob Squarepants

    Circle of Life – The Lion King

    Let It Go – Frozen

    Vegeta’s Super Saiyan Theme – Dragon Ball Z

    Pokemon Theme Song – Pokemon

    Kim Possible Theme Song – Kim Possible

    For golds eight and beyond, please go here

  14. Gods gonna cut you down – Johnny Cash

    The beat of the song is perfect for running. I don’t know why but something about that song really just gives me the chills and empowers me.

  15. Parkway Drive – Sleepwalker

You can add one rule to the Tour de France to make it more entertaining. What is it?

  1. The whole team has to ride a single tandem

  2. Mandatory performance enhancements. Doping, steroids, prosthetic limbs, methamphetamine, PCP, whatever. Everything is fair game.

    It will be like watching the Space Jam mutants on bicycles.

  3. The bicycle is now attached to a rickshaw. Competitors must stop and pick up tourists along the way.

  4. Have two races, one from start to finish and the other from finish to start. Give every participant a lance.

  5. One cyclist out of every team gets a pool noodle, which he may use to sabotage the competition in any way he sees fit.

    Think about how awesome it would be to see a bunch of grown men with their serious game faces on, participating in one of the most grueling tests of endurance and fortitude in all of sports, but also a few assholes mixed in just beating the shit out of people with pool noodles.

    It would be perfect.

  6. The only bikes allowed are those single-gear-back-pedal-to-break ones.

    Edit: yes, I get it. Fixed gear bikes are fixies. I mean the kids bike.

  7. Unicycles.

  8. A bucket of mystery pills.

    Every day, each racer eats one. Some are slow-action, some are fast-acting. Some are uppers, some are downers. Some are military-grade hallucinogens. Hell, some are just plain-old Viagra.

    The Tour-de-France becomes a struggle against your competitors, yourself, and the blue goblin trying to force-feed you spiders.

  9. The Running of the Bulls will now be held on the same day, on the same route. Both Spaniards and Bulls will now accompany the cyclists.

  10. All of these complicated things and I’m just sitting here thinking how fun it would be to have second place be the winner and first place come in last.

  11. Allow the teams to go on the offensive, forcing competitors off the course. This would probably force the teams to ride as groups separated from each other. As one team tries to pass another the ‘defenses’ of each would intermingle and chaos would ensue.

  12. Every rider has to drink five cups of coffee, eat five McDonald’s double cheeseburgers, and take five Ex-Lax tablets at the start of the race. At the end there’s a single toilet.

  13. We have the technology to include some Mario Kart type weapons. Green turtle, red turtle, banana. No blue turtle though – we’re only sticking with original SNES weapons. It’s the Tour of France after all, let’s have some respect for tradition.

  14. Bikers in teams, each member waits in a spot of the track. The previous biker has to pass a baguette to the next so he can start his part of the track.

    Baguette can’t fall on the ground.

  15. You can ride whatever you want without an engine. Obree styles, lie downs, creativity returns instead of drugging your way to the win.