The lack of political knowledge that voters have.
The education bubble. There are more people going to college than there are college level jobs. Some time enough people aren’t going to be able to pay and that bubble is going to pop.
The ability to easily just look at news that supports your point of view.
Our lack of innovation in Education. Seriously, education revolution can change the world more than anything. Look up Prussian Education System for reference.
It’s the cause of the lack of competitiveness of most Congressional districts outside of the primaries and of why the majority in Congress does not accurately reflect the national popular vote.
Human trafficking is an enormous problem across the world. Even in the United States, tens of thousands of people are treated as nothing more than human cattle.
Antibiotic resistance is becoming a real problem.
Growing income inequality in the 1st world. History tells us that the economy will fold in on itself if the gap gets too wide.
Habitat loss for animals. I think it’s a bigger issue than people realize, because even many (most?) conservation naturalists tend to focus on things like large mammals, birds, and butterflies. Not much thought is put into amphibians, invertebrates, and reptiles. You can restore a wetland and waterfowl and other birds can easily move back in, because they fly and large mammals may happen into the area. The amphibians, invertebrates and reptiles don’t move as easily, and may not have very large home ranges that would bring them back by chance. There are species of moths that live on specific prairie plants. If the prairie is wiped out, those moths go with it, and they don’t just magically reappear when you restore a prairie.
Another big issue is feral cats effects on wildlife. They are an invasive species that if captured, should NOT be released back into the wild, but even people who work in my local conservation department, who are supposed to help protect wildlife, support alter and release programs because they humanize the cats.
Helium shortage in 2020
We are running out of phosphorus. It’s essential to growing crops and keeping our population alive and we have a dwindling supply. Without better ways to grow food we are looking at skyrocketing food prices in the coming decades.
Unemployment and the types of jobs available. So many jobs out there are part-time so you cant live off them or need years of experience you don’t have. Then when there is jobs you can do you get extra barriers in front of you like going though these stupid questionaires or going through middle man agencys.
Loneliness, particularly amongst young people.
There is a lot of talk about the elderly becoming isolated and lonely but almost none about people in their late teens and twenties.
I feel that a lot of the structures that used to support young people and encourage them to socialise have mostly disappeared, such as the church. This is exasperated by people the fact that the employment market has changed. There is no such thing as a job for life anymore, if you can get a job at all. So at one time people at least had workmates to socialise with, pretty difficult to do that now if you have to change jobs every six months.
Loneliness has all sorts of negative side effects on a person’s health and their ability to make good life choices. It’s also painful when you are going through it.
I can’t believe I don’t see privacy up here yet. I’ve heard way too many people state that ‘I have nothing to hide’ when this topic comes up, then move on, not a care in the world.
Privacy isn’t just whether or not you’re doing anything wrong by the letter of the law. It means you’re trusting your government (or whoever else is collecting your information) to not misuse that information. It also becomes way more important in times of political unrest, which granted nobody is disappearing in the U.S. because they posted a controversial opinion on twitter, but it’s scary to think of what they are capable of if there was ever a political revolution in the U.S. There are no checks and balances on what information is collected and why, and even though I have ‘nothing to hide’ I really don’t think that my privacy has zero value.
Don’t taunt the moose. Don’t feed the moose. Don’t get near the moose. They look like doofy horses, but they’re bad-tempered, weighty, and strong. If you want to simulate the aftereffects of a moose attack, hoist a pallet of cinderblocks two storeys up, then drop it on your chest.
In Brussels, there is a famous statue called manneken pis. It’s just a 30cm high statue of a kid taking a pis, nothing more. Don’t visit it and act all disapointed because it’s so tiny, it was never advertised as something more than what it is.
don’t bother going to Liberty Island (statue of Liberty). all you’re going to end up doing is craning your neck upwards for a shitty view of the statue.
Instead, take the Staten Island Ferry out to SI. It’s FREE. 100% Free. read that again because it’s not common in NYC. IT IS FREE.
It’s a 30 minute trip from Financial District down to Staten island. The ferry has concessions which serve alcohol, or you can actually bring your own on board and drink. It offers an awesome view of the statue of liberty, and Ellis Island. 30 minutes to Staten, then just jump on the next boat back to Manhattan. That’s an hour of your life and is totally worth it and fun.
The Queen does not live in Edinburgh Castle.
The Royal Mile is a mile long.
The 1 o’clock gun going off is not someone shooting someone, it just means it’s 1pm.
It’s pronounced Edin-bruh.
Please refrain from kicking squirrels into the Grand Canyon.
THE GAP AND VICTORIAS SECRET STORES AT THE MALL OF AMERICA ARE THE EXACT SAME AS THE ONES IN YOUR REGULAR MALL BACK HOME.
I live in Amsterdam, just a few blocks from the Anne Frank House. If you see a red path while visiting our city, don’t walk on it. That is a cycle path, and you will get hit.
Similarly, the biggest thing people don’t realize is instinctively you tend to only look to cross a street when you hear a sound. Bikes don’t make a sound. So when visiting Amsterdam you should always look both ways before stepping into the street.
If you find yourself at Tunnel View in Yosemite, turn around 180 degrees, walk 100 yards into the tunnel and then turn right and take the hidden walking tunnel out to where they dumped all the debris from the digging. It is a fun quick side trip no one knows about. Spooky. Especially if you have kids with you.
No you can not see Machu Picchu in a weekend. It’s a 20+ hour bus ride from Lima to Cusco, and at least four hours from Cusco to Aquas Calientes. This means that if you want to do a day trip from Cusco, you need to leave your hotel about 4am.
Cusco is 3500m above sea level. You can not walk up a flight of stairs without being massively out of breath on your first day in the city. Don’t even think about trying to walk the inka trail the day after you arrive. You’ll need at least three days (and a lot of coca tea) to deal with the altitude.
Talking of which, permits to walk the trail pretty much are full about 6 months in advance. If you want to do it, you need to plan it far in advance.
Plan to spend a week in Cusco; there’s enough stuff to do in the city and in the surrounding areas that you’ll be busy every day. And the restaurants are amazing. Eat the alpaca rather than the cuy.
1.Chocolate World is free but everything else costs a fortune.
2. Go to the local grocery store-Giant- and purchase tickets for Hershey Park there. They usually have discounted tickets.
Golden Gate Bridge: If you show up in the summer months expecting to get beautiful views of the bridge and warm California temperatures, chances are you’ll get blown away, freeze your ass off and see nothing but fog.
The Mall of America is still just a mall.
Paris and its sights: If groups of teenage girls come up to you asking you to look at their petition/flyer/whatever, keep walking and hold your bag close. The Mona Lisa, as famous as it is, is far from the most interesting thing in the Louvre. Be sure to see some of the lesser-known sections like the phenomenal collection of Middle Eastern artifacts.
The Arc de Triomphe has a better view than the Eiffel Tower.
Plymouth Rock is stupid. It’s a rock in a pit, which is flooded half the time. Don’t waste your money.
EDIT- should have used better wording when i meant money in the sense of travelling and the “historic tours”. the beach is nice here though, so thats nice to look forward to if you do come 🙂
Barcelona is a beautiful city with amazing things to see.
It is also a monster that can chew you up and spit you out. The tourist party attraction is high here as the parties go all day and night, alcohol is cheap and so are the drugs. This will make you a great victim for scams, thieves and prostitutes.
I’ve seen people arrive on a Friday in the best mood and then leave on Monday morning with no money, no passport, no change of clothes, and a trip to hospital later.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Bird poop, an extremely accurate shot from high above…(I still hear them laughing)
When I was little I found a used condom on the pooldeck and thought it was a baloon.
I was like 6 years old and we were having hot dogs. I went to the bathroom and did not wash my hands. When I got back to the table, I saw something that I assumed was ketchup on my fingertip- so six year old me decided to lick it.
I am dry heaving just reliving the moment.
Decaying gecko. I grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and briefly looked at it. It was clean. Or so I thought. Filled my cup up with coke. Went, sat at my computer and got back to my game, slowly sipping away. I get to the last few mouthfuls and get to this slimy thing. I spat it out real quick, and run to the sink, rinsing my mouth out. There was more in the bottom of the glass, so I pour it into the sink to inspect.
I missed the grossness when I grabbed the glass because the glass faded to a dark colour at the bottom, so the quick cursory glance missed it.
Coke hasn’t tasted the same.
A buddy of mine dips tobacco. He was spitting into an empty beer bottle which he put down next to my beer bottle. Long story short, i took a big swig of his spit/dip mixture and ended up spraying it all over his living room. Neither of us was happy.
Edit: It was warm too.
When I first started dating my fiance, she was doing laundry at my place since I had a washer dryer. Long story short, she decided to put some detergent into a water bottle to make it easy to bring over, and in the middle of the night I found it on the bathroom sink while relieving myself. I took a swig and luckily knew something was terribly wrong before swallowing. Afterwards I couldn’t swear for three days
I was awakened one morning by a foul taste in my mouth. My infant son had climbed out of his crib and was retrieving little shit balls from his diaper and putting them in my mouth. This happened a long time ago, but I still remember the taste.
Live maggots. In early college I would sometimes eat uncooked ramen noodles. Just open the bag and eat the block of noodles.
In this case it was a maggot infested block of ramen noodles. I don’t eat ramen any more.
EDIT: others on the thread say it’s likely indian meal moth larvae. I believe them.
Vagisil. Check your toothpaste before brushing.
bachelor pad in my early twenties. drunk. drinking beer. did not realize that there was a ‘garbage can’ (couple week old beer can with cigarette butts, bits of old food that fell on table, etc..) on the table. taking shots of liquor with friends.
need something to chase it with, and quickly.
pick up wrong can and throw it back.
takes me 2 seconds to realize.
2 seconds is not a long time…..but next time you have a can of something, drink it for two seconds..and you’ll realize two seconds is a fucking eternity.
Elephant poop. Was on a trip in Thailand and my ‘friend’ tried to push me into a pile, I grabbed him and we both slipped and went down, I got a face full of it 🙁 I have never chundered so much in my entire 31 years of being on this god forsaken planet.
Taste wise? Liquid charcoal when they had to pump my stomach…
I’m a home care aid. I essentially act as a “big brother” to individuals. One time, a few years back, I was taking a young man to the YMCA to do some ping pong and swimming. He had an issue with over stuffing his mouth and not chewing his food correctly so, after eating a hot dog in two bites, he began to throw up. I didn’t have a bag or anything and we were driving on the highway so I gave him a big gulp cup with some ice left in it to vomit in, which he filled to the brim with chunky hotdog puke. After my shift ended that night, on my drive home, I absent mindedly picked up my big gulp cup to get a couple ice cubes to crunch on and ended up filling my mouth with his hotdog puke. It…changed me.
Edit: Whoa! Gold?! Thank you!
Gonna take this opportunity to say that the person in this story is like a brother to me. We spend most of every day together, even off hours. If you know someone that has a disability or have ever thought, “I don’t know what I have in common with these kinds of people”, try to get to know them. They are fantastic and have a ton to give back to the community.
A combination of ground up cow parts, poop bile and blood. It was awful. I work at a beef processing plant in probably the worst department. I’m in rendering, which means i get all the diseased cows that aren’t destined to become people food. We grind them up and send them off in a pressurized tank to be cooked down into a fine powder. Well the pressurized tank opened while it was sending and launched cow goo everywhere and i got a healthy sized mouthful of it.
A duck embryo. I started by eating it at a family function, tried a bit of diplomacy by eating some of my wife’s culture foods. You know, impress the in-laws.
Ended when I saw the beak.
Perfectly nice date, 20 minutes in to it, she says, “I’ll be honest. I know what I need in a man, and you don’t have it.”
At 25, I would have been crushed. Wondering what “it” was would’ve kept me up for days. Being 35, I thanked her for being blunt and was happy to have an unexpectedly free evening.
Friend from class matched with my then girlfriend (now ex). He informed me of the match and proceeded to set up a coffee date. Instead of him showing up to the date, I did. I had the pleasure of watching my girlfriend freak the fuck out.
He showed up with his iPhone on a lanyard. Around his neck. But he introduced me to reddit, so I guess it went ok.
She was lying about her age.
And wanted a baby, immediately.
Most have been pretty normal and good.
There was this one girl I met up with for drinks. She was really cute… 23, nice skin, great hair, fit, just out of sorority girl. We inhaled a handful of cocktails in about 30 minutes… I was just trying to keep up and chit chat, but she was like let’s get out of here, which I’m always ok with.
We get back to my place and I got my game face on and half my clothes off. Then she sees Scrabble. Now, I’m very good… friends/family would say excellent. There was a period of 2-3 years where I was playing several games per day at least. She reallllllly wants to play a quick game and starts shit talking. So I smoke her. Absolutely, positively, fucking torch the hell out of her. Like 550-225 or something in that range. I’m making plays instantly, words you’ve never heard of, bingos all over, playing brutal d… it’s a murder. She gets pissed and storms out. Never got to bang her, but I know deep down she’s still mad about that game and it makes me a lot happier than an orgasm a few years ago would.
Met up for a coffee after having quite a nice chat over tinder for a few days. He sits down and says “hey nice to meet you”, then continues to pull out his laptop and sit there in complete silence for the next hour. I had nothing with me but my phone, since I thought coffee date means conversation. Should’ve left sooner.
Met one charmer after talking for a few weeks. After agreeing to meet at a nearby coffee shop, I show up right on time. Ten minutes later I get a text from him to “come outside.” Seems sketchy but there’s people about, so why not? I stand directly in front and he appears out of nowhere in a hoodie. We walk a bit before he asks me to walk down a darkly-lit street. I say I’m uncomfortable and he immediately starts waking away. I assume he’s joking and call him only to hear him screaming at me on the other end. He sends me a text a couple of days later insulting my hair and telling me to “suck my big dick you negress bitch.”
Tl;dr- Guy wanted to Dahmer me then proceeded to call me racist slurs. Thank you, internet!
went to see fifty shades of grey, got a blowy in the parking lot, got caught by a security guard on a segway…. ended up with chlamydia…….. I no longer tinder.
EDIT: I didn’t know that you could contract it that way either yet a trip to the clinic proved it to me.
My profile pic is a toilet. The first time I met a girl we actually talked about toilets for an hour.
I posted this a while back in a thread about Tinder, it was a pretty spectacularly bad…..
I used it, I’m a fat ugly bastard, I matched with a girl who wasn’t too shabby looking, texted for a few days until we were both off. I picked her up, she was very cute, went to dinner at a Japanese steak house and had a good time, drank some sake. She suggested we go back to my place (woo!)
We stop by her apartment to get her car and she wants to get clothes. She follows me to my house and we make out in my driveway for a few and start to move towards the house, I’m excited, gunna get laid and all yessir, been a while.
So we are on my front porch and she goes “eew, what’s that” and points to this baseball sized toad that hangs out on my porch, this is his 2nd year it there. Anyways I explain he is cool and I knock beetles off my porch light for to eat and stuff she walks over to him, looks at me, like intense eye contact and proceeded to slowly stomp on my toad.
Now at this point I was experiencing several emotions, shock, anger, rage. I shouted at her “wtf, why’d you do that” to which she replied “I wanted to make you mad so you’d Fuck me hard” I was speechless while I processed what I had just witnessed. I told her to get the Fuck of my property, she flips out, we yell back and forth, I sprayed her with the hose and she finally leaves only to show up 20 min later topless on my deck in the back yard. She had walked from down the road and pulled like 6 pickets down from my fence to get in the back yard.
Cops came, she cried her way out of trouble with them and left.
Tl;dr fat ugly bastard, solid 8 tinderella, night of hibachi, sake, otphj, she stomped my porch toad, cops come, girl cries, gets let off
Pic of toad
His leg is weird because it accidentally got closed in my door, I nursed him back to health last summer which is why he was so special to me
EDIT: wow, this blew up again lol and gold too! omg, double gold! Thanks you guys
EDIT 2: holy smokes this is blowing up, Im trying to reply to questions and comments but I gotta be at work early so Ill continue in the morning
We went on three dates. The next time she asked to see me, I told her I was visiting family and wouldn’t be available until the following weekend. In that moment, she freaked out and sent me a 7 page long text about how I destroyed what could have been a perfect relationship and that she wanted to marry me still if I would just put her first. She then left me a voicemail of her singing “U Got It Bad” by Usher while crying and saying she loved me over and over. Two days later she sent me pictures of her burning a bucket list she had made for us.
Glad I got out of that one unscathed.
- Tinder nightmare – went on the date, five minutes into the conversation he flips it to 9/11 conspiracy theories and doesn’t drop it even after I explicitly state that the conversation is inappropriate. Told him later by text that I didn’t think we were that compatible, cue 2 months of 3am phone calls where he pretends to be a furniture/renovation company that had problems delivering my order…
- When I was someone’s Tinder nightmare – got way too drunk, puked on myself. Total blackout.
Thank you for all your hilarious input, this definitely made my day. Moving forward, I promise to uphold my 2-date legacy of tinder nightmares.
**To clarify, I asked politely for the subject to be changed before letting him know it was inappropriate. For those who commenters who have expressed it doesn’t sit well with them, I guess it’s good we’re not dating?
Not gonna lie, the actual worst experience is just a whole lot of nothing.
I know I’m late to the party but man do I have a doozy!!
So last year after getting out of a horrible sort of relationship, I decided to try something casual and use tinder. Got lots of responses, everything is going well. The dates were mostly lack luster and I figured I was just being too picky. So I decided “the next 5 people to ask me on a date gets a yes!”
So the first guy I’m able to go on a date with wants me to drive into the city (45 minutes away) so we would has more stuff to do. Annoying but sorta understandable as I’m in a suburb without much exciting things to do.
We meet, he looks like his pictures, we say hello and he tells me that we’re gonna go play soccer in the park. Cool! I love sports. On the way we start talking and asking questions about each other, and I’m getting the vibe we aren’t such a great match. I love to travel, he has 0 desire. He only likes obscure sports, I love them all. But hey, I’m here. Stick with it.
The entire time he talks about how he makes soooo much money and how embarrassing it is for his friend to only make 60k a year at his dream job. I make half of that. I would have left considering the love connection, or lack there of, but I figured I’d be polite until after lunch.
We head out and we arrive. Dollar taco. Which don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to splurge. But he looked me up and down and said “you gotta earn your meals first” and gave me a creepy fucking smile. Nope. I feign a fake phone call and have to leave, but he insists on walking me to my car.
We get there, and I try to shrug him off and GTFO but then…it happens.
He leans in for a kiss. But not just any kiss. Open mouth, tongue out. And as he leans in, his crotch brushes against my leg. Unfortunately for him, the soccer shorts didn’t conceal his raging hard on.
So I did what any caught off guard girl would do.
I accidentally laughed in his mouth. Oops. I was too awkward to say anything and just got in the car, driving away.
I met a girl for a date who turned out to be much better looking than her photos which is always a nice surprise. The date went well, just dinner and a walk, and we said our goodbyes. The next day she invited me out to a friend’s birthday party downtown as her +1. I wanted to go but I had to work the next day and wanted to be able to drink a little since it was a bunch of people I didn’t know. She said “That’s alright, you can park at my house and sleep over.”(Cha-ching!) So, of course, I said yes.
Fast forward to the middle of the party, I’m enjoying myself chatting it up with her friends and having a good time and next thing I know she absolutely loses it and storms out of the bar leaving me there. Drunk. With her friends. I still have no idea why.
One of them told me “She wants you to go after her!” and I said “Fuck that, it’s our second date.” which not a single person blamed me for. I stayed at the party and switched to water while I continued talking with her friends. That was over a year ago, and I still regularly hang out with them. They have since stopped talking to her.
TL;DR No sex, but got to keep all her friends.
That we didn’t visit my grandfather for 10 years because he had pissed off the Russian mob and they threatened to murder my family.
Edit: Forgot the “they” sorry for the confusion
My father came home one day drunk while I was in my room gaming. Barges in and says “I just fucked Rebecca”. Rebecca was his secretary and a long time family friend. I didn’t know what to do or say, since I was just 15 at the time, so I kept my mouth shut. Fast forward to 3 years later my parents are getting a divorce. Fast forward to today my Dad is married to Rebecca.
I found out my father had a son at the age of 13 with a married woman. The son is named after my father and the husband doesn’t know the child is my fathers.
I found out what really happened to my great aunt and uncle’s adopted son. Turns out that he didn’t just decide to go backpacking through Brazil for a while before just deciding to stay down there. Nope, he actually molested a few children, fled the country before the police closed in on him, and has been estranged from his family and wanted by the police since the early 90s.
I found out that this was my dad’s second marriage. Mom got drunk at olive garden, and was commenting about the people next to us who were around 24 and having marriage problems. I was 21 at the time.
Two months after I married my ex-husband his Grandmother blurted out that his first wife was his cousin!
My dad is an alcoholic and my mom told him to leave the house for awhile while I was away at college. I make a surprise trip home to find out that he is living in a Motel 6, go to see him and hes hammered. I take his keys so he cant go anywhere.
That’s beside the point.
He goes out and buys a six pack, and tells me to share them with him. I am 19 at the time (22 now) and he goes on to tell me about how much he loves my mom. Which transitions into him telling me that my moms dad, had multiple friends who raped my mom multiple times which led here to getting multiple abortions. She was so traumatized by it that when she got pregnant with me, she goes to my dad, breaks down crying and says she has an abortion scheduled because she thought my dad would leave her because she was pregnant, which led to her telling him the story I just told all of you.
This explains why my grandfather is pretty much never around, and why my grandma and mom never talk about him and avoid him.
My mom has absolutely no idea that I know this story either. But I have never really been able to look at my grandpa or my mom the same way since then.
Edit – I was 19, not 16
I found out I had a twin who died in the womb. Thanks for taking one for the team, brother :/
When I was in high school, I was studying one night when my dad came home super drunk, which wasn’t unusual because he was a heavy drinker at the time. He started telling me stories about his high school experience, such as his girlfriend getting an abortion without him knowing, and he was devastated when he found out since he thought it was all his fault. Then he just left the room immediately after saying that.
My uncle accidentally admitted he masturbated to his wife’s sister at a family gathering.
Apparently there’s a cassette tape in our family of my grandfather telling the story of his involvement with the Manhattan project. He never spoke of it until my uncle got him enough scotch that he told the story–just that one time. He was a co-pilot of a B29 super fortress in the 509th composite, and was part of the team that dropped the second atomic bomb on Nagasaki. I’ve been told different things throughout the years and when my grandpa passed two years ago I tried to research his history. Apparently he was on the plane that held scientific observers but it went MIA during the mission. I really want to hear this tape and finally learn the entire story, and possibly transcribe it for historical records, as every thing I’ve found in my research leads me to a dead end. I know this isn’t “juicy” per se, but I’m curious to know our family secret and the history behind it.
My family only drinks tea, but one day I was told that one of my uncles wasn’t dead, but was locked into a psychiatric hospital for stalking a woman, breaking into her house, and threatening her with a knife. Later, he mistook a random woman in a train station as the woman he was stalking, and almost strangled her to death.
Did not happen to me, but when I was 17, my Best Friend’s uncle admitted to taking naked pictures of my friend’s sister while she slept. She was 15 at the time.
I havent heard from his uncle for a while.
My dad got drunk when I was a teenager and said “you know, I asked your mom to abort you when I found out she was pregnant. I wasn’t ready to have kids and she lied to me about being on birth control.”
Awesome. Thanks for that special memory, Dad.
My mom got drunk one night and told me that the man who was supposedly my father, wasn’t in fact, my father.
I already knew, actually. When I was 18 my “father” came to visit me and asked if we could take a paternity test, because he had never believed I was actually his. So we did, and then he found out I wasn’t his, and basically just stopped talking to me.
I didn’t tell my mom I knew. He refused to talk to her. I just kept it inside for years. Then when I was 22, my drunken mother told me about it, and I told her I already knew.
I told her I wasn’t mad at her and that I believe she probably had my best interest at heart.
But I don’t really believe that.
I’m fairly certain my friend and his girlfriend have some kind of age playing dynamic going on. I was in their kitchen waiting for my friend and his girlfriend was making me a cup of coffee. Suddenly she kind of jumps and hurriedly starts wiping the writing off a whiteboard that was hanging on the back of the door. I hadn’t even noticed it until then, but before she finished wiping it I managed to read the heading which was ‘Baby girl’s to do list’ or something along those lines. She also once called him Daddy in my company, they both looked very sheepish, but I just pretended not to notice. She also regularly wears what looks to me to be a discrete collar, but I don’t know if I’m reading too much into that.
Pretty sure my girlfriend wants to pee on me. She brings up peeing in off hand ways occasionally. We are fairly early in the relationship and I think she doesn’t want to blurt it out. Similarly, I don’t want to just drop the fact that I am fine with her peeing on me.
And yes I know it is just something to discuss but like I said, it is still pretty early. If we are both as into it as I think we are we will definitely get there.
I had a girlfriend once with a rape fantasy. Wanted me to break into her house and … you know. But it was a short relationship, so I wasn’t really sure if it was a rape fantasy or a “shoot an intruder” fantasy.
I was playing spin-the-bottle the other night with some friends, which was kinda silly given we are all late 20s’s early 30’s types.
Any when it came a guy’s turn to kiss another guy’s girlfriend he asked ‘uh, is this ok?’ and the boyfriend was always “yeah sure!” and I saw the look on his face while these other guys were tonguing his girlfriend, and I knew it. He liked it, a lot.
My wife likes her asshole played with lightly. She’ll never admit it unless she’s pretty close to coming. But when she’s there, and I start wandering — WHAM! All of a sudden I’m alligator-wrestling.
I was snooping and saw squirt porn on her browsing history. Anytime I bring it up and want to make an attempt at her squirting she makes me stop because she thinks she’s going to pee every where.
i know somebody who is into horse porn. i know, because she got in trouble for watching it in her dorm in college.
I’m fairly certain my wife loves giving head far more than she’s willing to admit. The minute she starts going down on me it’s like a switch flips for her and all (amazing) hell breaks loose. She’ll start talking dirty (not really my thing, but w/e works for her!), how much she wants me inside of her, etc. She’ll stop what she’s doing to get one of her dildos to ride while sucking me off. Hell, most of the time she won’t even let me touch her while she’s giving me head. She frequently says, in the heat of the moment, “Don’t touch me, I want to focus on this” with a grin on her face.
Bring it up to her after the fact, though, and she denies it turns her on that much. That she only does it because I enjoy it.
I know the truth but I’d be stupid to press the issue. I’m happy pretending she doesn’t enjoy it that much because lord knows I do 😛
SO says she isn’t into butt stuff but every time we get drunk I got a thumb up her butt.
I think she may be a furry. Either that, or she just can’t draw people
That time she snorted Cocaine with Charlie Sheen in Vegas
About a week later, she happened to be talking about how her dream is to meet him
I worked with a kid who said that cars started merging from both sides into his lane, and that he had to use both his hands at the same time to push them away.
Um…His friend designed Master Chief from Halo and so he got early access. He “picked up a sniper rifle and found a hiding spot, then killed people as they logged in.”…because that’s how Halo works.
A 300 lb co-worker who claimed to run 5 miles every morning with his pals from the SWAT team. And he owned a classic car that I insisted he bring in to show off and the next day he said he was in an accident on the way to work and it was now written off. And he owned every business in the damn country but couldn’t afford to lose his $30/hr job. It was endless. Too many to list.
Living in NYC a girl told me she owned a horse in Upstate New York. While going on a trip to Upstate New York, she said I must have misheard her and said her horse was actually in ANOTHER state NOT New York. While planning a cross country trip we say, “hey lets stop by your farm where your horse is at. It must have been forever since you’ve seen it last!” She says it’s sold to a family friend. Can we visit that family friend? Nope, now it’s dead.
I wonder how many compulsive liars came on this thread and made up stories about compulsive liars that don’t exist, just to one-up everybody else?
My friend is an only child and he used to deny drawing on the walls at home
I’ve known a few through the years, but my teenage son has a friend that tops the list (of the people I know). Eric is his name, and he came up with some far out there shit.
Eric was constantly spewing shit, but the best was when the Xbox 1 was just about to be released. My son was in about 5th grade at the time, so still susceptible to believing crazy stuff.
About a month and a half prior to the Xbox 1 release, I took my son to Gamestop. I think we were going to try and pre-order it, but for whatever reason we weren’t able to do it at the time. So, I told my son “as soon as we can physically get one, we will…I promise”. So, the next day at school, my son tell’s Eric. Being Eric, he had to one up my son, so he tells my son that his dad “worked all weekend in the garage and made an Xbox 1 out of an old lawn mower engine combined with his Xbox 360”. My son comes home and asks me to replicate that feat of engineering.
It took me a while to stop laughing long enough to explain that Eric was, once again, full of complete shit.
Here’s the kicker though, his mom (who was pretty hot) was one of those “my kid could never do anything wrong”, kind of enabler parents. So, one day I’m waiting on my kid to get out of school and I tell her the story (thinking she’ll laugh along with me). To my complete surprise, she says something like “Well, (Eric’s dad) is really good with tools and does spend a lot of time in the garage, so he probably did make one for Eric”. It took me about a millisecond to realize why Eric was so full of shit.
A classmate told me that he owned Philadelphia Airport and had four private jets, a Bentley, and a Ferrari.
I had a friend from high school who would tell the most ridiculous stories about what he did when he was away at school. Crazy drugs, raging every night, ridiculous orgies, the works. All this, despite the fact I’d never seen him do any drugs, drink even a bit excessively, or even talk to a girl. Never doubted him because he was always a little weird, and besides, he was my friend. Why would he lie?
He told one story one day that was just a little too ridiculous. Too many drugs, too many girls, too much exaggeration. The seed of doubt was planted, and it kept growing with each detail.
Fast forward to a birthday party a few years later. I finally meet one of his college friends. We get to talking, and she tells me about how she heard all about the crazy stuff that happened back when he was at home with us. All the drugs, all the girls, all the partying we did with him when he was away from school.
We both had a realization that day about our friend, and I’m pretty sure we both wrote him off after that. Haven’t spoken to him in a long time.
When I was in high school,I had a friend who was a compulsive liar. One day, we were at his house, and were were having a snack of milk and cookies (Oreo’s, I think?) And he poured two glasses of milk, one for me one for him. He takes a drink of his milk and says “that’s some good beer!” Mind you, the milk jug is still on the table, and there is no question that it’s milk. I asked him “what are you talking about? That’s milk.” He was not joking (he had done similar things like this before), and he got legitimately mad and actually hostile towards me when I suggested that his “beer” was actually just milk. It was pathological with him. He would blatantly lie needlessly about mundane things, and he would get angry if anyone pointed out obvious falsities. It was very strange to observe.
This guy named Chip, who grew up on my block.
He has claimed over the years (and some people actually believe him):
He’s the world’s most dangerous hacker and the gov’t pays him not to incite WW3.
He’s a real magician (he can actually do magic, in the literal sense).
He has slept with over 5,000 women.
He was offered the spot of GM by the San Diego Chargers, but turned it down because he was too busy focusing on his startup…which leads me to his fucking startup.
He claims his startup has generated $50 million in his 2nd year. He sells posters and keychains. He hasn’t sold maybe 10 posters the entire time the site has been up. He will write a “review” print it, tape it, with scotch tape, to the inside of a Fast Company magazine, and then post it on his FB about “got another writeup today in Fast Company. Big things are happening”.
He claims to be buddies with Elon Musk, Warren Buffett, and Bill Gates, although he’s probably never left Kansas.
He says he was in the military and served as a Delta Force, but it sworn to secrecy and isn’t allowed to tell anyone any details of his time served.
If you question or disagree with him, he goes into a tirade and basically just screams over everyone and storms off because you “insulted” him and then he’ll call you out online calling you a “hater”.
I can’t stand Chip. He’s on my FB just for entertainment purposes now.
Here are some more fun facts about Chip.
In 2010 when Skrillex got big, Chip had the original idea to become a dubstep producer. So Chip stole his mom’s credit card, bought a bunch of studio gear, and tried to make dubstep. For months, he rambled about how he’s going to be the next Skrillex and convinced himself that he’d be touring with Skrillex and/or Deadmau5 within a few months. He “released” 3 songs on Soundcloud then paid India to “like” his tracks. The songs sounded like dog shit. We then find out that he paid someone to write these Chiptastic masterpieces.
He did the ice bucket challenge using warm water and faked being cold.
He tried telling everyone that he created Bitcoin.
When Chip introduces himself to people, he calls himself a “guru”.
He thinks homosexuality has the same severity as being a pedophile (edited to make sense).
He’s one of these guys who pays money to attend MLB batting practice or an NFL scrimmage, then gets his pics taken with players. Last year he posted a pic with Eric Weddle and captioned “My new startup – Elite Athletes Agency. First signing, Weddle” (Eric Weddle is not even looking at the camera, just signing his football).
He also does this with bands. He’ll go to Warped Tour and take a pic with some band guy and caption it “Talking business with New Found Glory. Stay tuned haters”
He claims he can work out and get ripped in 2 weeks but he needs his fat for power lifting. He’s 5’6″ and 230 lbs. He can’t bench a bowling ball.
He got hair plugs but was too bald and is too cheap to get them done fully, so now his crown looks like a perfectly-rowed apple orchard. When you ask him about it, he denies that he ever got hair plugs and calls you a hater. It looks like a freshly-seeded garden with rows of hairs poking out of his scalp.
He started watching Airline Repo and is now telling everyone that he repossesses airplanes.
[Edited for grammar]
I had a college roommate at a state university that played for the marching band. Over the course of 5 years he had convinced myself and friends that he (among many other things)….
- Played a concert with Eric Clapton
- Performed in the Broadway play, Wicked
- Recorded an album with Billy Joel
- Owned a Maserati
- Got an entry level job offer from a MAJOR wealth management company as a senior financial analyst starting at $300k with signing and moving bonuses. Oh yeah and he was a Finance and Music double major that couldn’t finish his Finance degree due to making a D+ in Financial Accounting.
It blew my mind when I found out he had been lying the entire time. He always managed to make everything so believable by providing backup evidence like a signed album from Billy Joel that he gave me or taking numerous pictures with a Maserati or even getting his parents to confirm he played in Wicked. It wasn’t until a mutual friend grabbed me aside and explained that everything he had told me was a lie. Mind blown. It sounds ludicrous think anyone would believe it until you fall victim to a pathological liar’s web of deceit. The sad part is there was really no point in making all of this stuff up. He had nothing to gain.
**edit for grammar
As an alcoholic, I used the “my grandfather passed away” excuse to get off of work one weekend. The next week, I used “my grandmother passed away too” to get off work again.
Sorry by my english, brazilian here
At high school, this guy arrives and says the following:
“I was walking here this morning. When i was walking by a mango tree, i heard some noise by the leaves above me, so i do a 180° spin, open my hand with the hand palm facing up, and i manage to catch a falling mango. A woman that was passing by saw this and gave me her number because she said it was very hot to see”