Reddit, what movie helped you through a rough time?

  1. I was in Ecuador having a rough time until I saw Paul Blart Guardia de Seguridad del Centro Comercial.

  2. Why the hell am I still scrolling through this thread?!

  3. A friend had me watch Swingers after a breakup. Didn’t work. But, Paul Blart Mall Cop did.

  4. I’m currently going through a tough time. Can’t wait for Paul blart 2

  5. Probably a whole bunch of movies have helped me through my life.
    All of you can probably relate to me; whichever one I name.
    Understandably so, since there are so many influential films out there.
    Like action films, romance films, and comedies!
    But seriously, there is one movie that stands above the rest.
    Lovable favorite I depend on.
    A personal, timeless classic.
    Reddit, you know what I’m talking about.
    That one.
    Many of you have already pointed it out in this thread.
    Actually, almost all of you.
    Lengthy posts detailing the glory of this movie.
    Living in the same era as this masterpiece is a blessing.
    Come, all; say the name with me.
    OP, you too!
    Peasants, I order you to look at the first letter of each sentence.

  6. When I moved in to college I was feeling really homesick, but when I saw Paul Blart Mall Cop it made me forget about that for almost two good hours. Had some good laughs, would really recommend.

  7. Paul Blart Mall Cop cured my cancer, saved my dying great uncle, and got me over my heroin addiction. God bless Kevin James’s warm, overweight soul.

  8. This’ll probably be down voted but Paul Blart Mall Cop helped me get through some shit, truly an inspiring film

  9. Paul Blart Mall Cop really cheered me up after I failed two exams in a week.

  10. I saw Paul Blart Mall Cop after my grandpa died back in December and just being able to laugh really helped me.

  11. Guys, this isn’t funny. OP asked a question he wanted serious answers for and this is just really annoying and sad because I feel the need to tell my story. I’ll answer the question for real. When I was thirteen life didn’t go too well. My grandmother and my aunt died in the same month. I was becoming severely depressed and nothing gave me meaning. Nothing would ever seem to cheer me up, but the moment I got the Blu ray DVD of Paul Blart Mall Cop all my fear and sadness melted away. Kevin James is my portly mustachioed hero.

  12. I was at my lowest point, with a failed relationship and the loss of my business. I watched Paul Blart Mall Cop and then started picking up the pieces. Thanks to that movie I was able to rebuild. Will recommend.

  13. Why did this happen?

  14. Mall Paul Cop Blart

  15. A while back I was in a dark place. I’d been depressed for a long time, and my life was spiraling out of control. I was unemployed, spending all my time alone. The only social interaction I had was spending Sunday evenings at my parents house. My parents, my sister, her son, and I would eat dinner and watch The Incredibles, my nephews favorite movie. Looking back, those Sunday nights were the only thing keeping my head above water.

    Even so, I got to the point where I just wanted to end it. I was eating what I had planned to be my last meal with the TV on in the background, when I heard something familiar. The Incredibles had just randomly come on. I got slammed with memories of Sunday nights. I freaked out and changed the channel, and what comes on but Paul Blart Mall Cop.

    Kevin James gave me a reason to live.

    Also I bought a segway.

If you could choose one celebrity to give up acting/singing/etc and start doing porn full time, who would it be?

  1. Danny Devito, but in a mockumentary of the life of Ron Jeremy.

    EDIT: Can someone set up a kickstarter?

    EDIT 2: Seriously, I’ll give gold to whoever does it.

  2. Yvonne Strahovski.

  3. I have to admit I came here for the people posting lookalikes of celeberties.

    Edit: because I was not the only one I will share this link. http://www.cavemancircus.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2014/march/celebritypornstardoppelgangers/celebrity_pornstar.html

  4. Alison Brie.

    Her scene in Get Hard is probably the closest we’ll ever get, though.

  5. Margot Robbie

  6. If Lexi Belle could just come back from retirement all these answers would be irrelevant for me.

  7. Dolph Lundgren. Full penetration.

  8. Megan Fox. Can’t stand her in movies, maybe she’d be okay in porn.

  9. Liam Neeson. Who doesn’t want to see that? Just screaming commands at people in his Taken voice. It’d be a blast.

    “Roll the fuck over! I’ve got some arse fucking ta do. I don’t know who you, but I’m gonna cum all over your TITS!”

  10. Eliza Dushku

  11. I’m going for Nicolas Cage. Imagine his sweet dialogue in a porno, plus that face, oh that face. “We’re going to steal the Dicklaration of Indapoondence.”

  12. Steve Buscemi

  13. I will go ahead and get the obvious out of the way:

    Katy Perry

  14. Adam Sandler.

    I don’t want to see him do porn, I just want him to stop making movies.

  15. Charlize Theron

Gamers of Reddit, what game do you think is a masterpiece of art?

  1. Journey.

  2. Planescape: Torment is a work of pure, unadulterated beauty. Such antipodean ideals – bleakness and hope, free-will and destiny, the power of belief and the agony of self-doubt. One of the most powerful works of fiction I’ve ever experienced.

    The story, the music, the setting, the atmosphere. So hauntingly beautiful. Like the dew on a rose left on an aged tombstone for a love long lost but never forgotten.

    Such a simple idea with incredible nuance. No saving the universe, no manifest destiny – just an immortal man trying to die and perhaps absolve some of his sins along the way.

    And the companions. No “thief guy” or “warrior type”. A smart-arse, cockney floating skull. A firey Irish red-head with a rat tail. A celibate succubus. A warrior-monk with a sword made of the strength of his own will. A mentally unstable robot. A psychopathic, sociopathic mage who is condemned to be perpetually on fire. A haunted suit of armour who exists because he refuses to die.

    A game where you make someone cease to exist because you so compellingly convince him that he doesn’t exist. In fact only one of the fights is actually necessary. A game where intelligence and wisdom is encouraged more than brute force.

    A super-intelligent rat hive mind. A man who draws magical tattoos and speaks only in rebus. A spell that shames an enemy with the sound of a woman laughing at the size of his penis, a chocolate that lets you spit bees and an action figure that your character becomes obsessed with.

    If you lie about your name often enough you can make that guy actually exist.

    You literally have an enlightening conversation with the living avatar of the letter O.

    Torment is art and a standard by which others should be judged.

    Fuck it, I’m reinstalling this right now.

  3. Myst! Was an amazing game for it’s time and had sound, ambience and story telling that was up until that point unseen in games. Or any of the old Sierra adventure games.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myst

  4. Okami. Still, the most beautiful game I have ever seen and it was on the PlayStation 2. Not even anything from the PS4/XBONE can compare.

  5. Metroid Prime. I was not a Metroid fan before it, and I had never played any game in the series as a matter of fact, but something about Prime resonated with me intensely and I was extremely hyped for it, and when I finally played it all my expectations were surpassed. I loved it immediately and I still do. It’s my favourite game of all time.

  6. Bastion. Great art, fantastic music, and the story combined with that fantastic narration makes it a masterpiece in my book.

  7. Chrono Trigger. The storytelling, the character development, the feels… Also the humour, the challenges, the balance. This game is a work of art.

    EDIT: Holy cow, how could I possibly forget the music. One of the best soundtracks I ever heard. Each song matches perfectly with each character and with each happy or sad moment. It’s simply beautiful. As someone commented, Frog Forever!

  8. Metal Gear Solid. The attention to detail that it had for a PS1 game that was released nearly 17 years ago is beyond ridiculous.

  9. Deus Ex.

  10. Morrowind

  11. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Everything about that game was highly artistic and ahead of its time. It goes down as one of my favorite games of all time.

  12. Oddword: Abe’s Oddysee

  13. There are a few other games that I agree with here, but since I haven’t seen it yet, Wind Waker, I think, perfectly matches the tone of the game. The art style, music, and minimal voice work suit the game perfectly. The style definitely lets it age wonderfully, compared to other game released around the same time.

  14. The original Silent Hill.

    The game itself had such atmosphere and this interesting chill about it. Not many games have been able to come close to that since. And being able to give someone the chills and the desire to carry on is a work of art to me.

What is your version of “there are only 2 types of people in this world?”

  1. Inbox (2) or Inbox (1089)

  2. People who are proud of their work, and people who are proud of how little work they do.

  3. “There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don’t.” – Uncle Ben

  4. Those who are decent humans and return the shopping carts to the corral… and the monsters who don’t.

  5. Ones who follow through

  6. Those who are me, and those who are not.

  7. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders.

  8. Those who know how to count, those who know how to use calculators, and those who need help with counting

  9. There’s two kinds of people in this world; those who change shit, and those who complain about shit being different.

  10. Those who understand that Minecraft is supposed to look that way, and those who don’t

  11. Those that understand the world is messy and complicated, and those who are still delusional.

  12. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

  13. There are two types of people:
    Those who watch the end of Breakfast at Tiffany’s and say: JUST KISS HIM!

    And those who say: SAVE THE FUCKING CAT!

  14. Those who lift and those who don’t even

  15. Muricans and Murican’ts

What is the best game to play in a web browser?

  1. Gеоguеssr:

  2. First off, you may want to try checking Kongregate. There’s a lot of crap, but also a lot of good stuff there.

    My personal favorites are Cursed Treasure: Don’t Touch My Gems and its level pack and sequel. (Though I think the sequel isn’t as good.)

    There are also great ones there like Burrito Bison Revenge and The Company of Myself. I also highly suggest you play Burn the Rope.

    But, really, if we’re looking for the one best game to play, it’s easily going to be Robot Unicorn Attack.

  3. Frog Fractions

    Just keep playing and you’ll see what I mean.

    Edit: we may have hugged the site to death. You can also play it here

  4. Winnie the Pooh’s home run derby. Its like Dark Souls, but with baseball.

  5. Just write the goddamn paper.

  6. I’ve got balloons TD up on the other tab

  7. I was absolutely addicted to A Dark Room. Don’t look up any FAQs or hints or anything. Just roll with it and discover every part of the game yourself. It’s a unique gaming experience you can only do once.

    Edit: If that’s not your style, try out CandyBox

    Edit 2: Also, here’s an unique RPG that’s stripped down to just numbers.

    Edit 3: Posting about A Dark Room got me addicted again. I also just found the “lights off” button in the lower left. So pretty, it’s easy on the eyes.

  8. Does anyone still play Kingdom of Loathing? I think I still have an account in there…

  9. SUPER. HOT.

    SUPER. HOT.

    SUPER. HOT.

    http://superhotgame.com/

  10. Desktop Tower Defense

  11. I’d take a stab at QWOP. Especially if you’re the kind of person who, after fucking up once, will play something for hours to prove to yourself that you can do it, while continuously acknowledging how stupid it is

    Edit: now that I’m thinking about this game again, I really just picture it taking up like 3 years of Bush’s presidency.

  12. Town of Salem is a really fun game, check it out

  13. Fallen London. If you like text-based games, this is the best one of its type out there. I found out about this company after playing their Dragon Age: The Last Court game prior to the release of DA3.

    The game is 100% free but you can spend money for extra content storylines if you want, but what’s there will keep you busy for months (possibly years), even if you play daily.

    Basically, it’s an alternate reality story where London is somehow transported into a strange underground. It still connects to the surface, but the laws of reality down there are… peculiar. A big part of the fun is unraveling the lore and understanding what exactly has happened and who is responsible for it.

    Basically you get 1 action per 10 minutes, with a limit of 20 (or 40 if you donate). You increase your stats with time and you gain power and influence. The inventory system is complex and rewarding and things are fairly well balanced. I can’t recommend this game enough.

    If you play, you can look me up, my username in the game is SpBlue. I’ve been playing for months, but I’m not yet good enough to be a Patron, but we could drink coffee at Caligula’s together or something.

    Edit : Also, if anyone would happen to have a cough Starveling Cat they don’t need, I could really use one. The Starveling Cat! THE STARVELING CAT!

    Edit 2: Thanks to EarthboundDevil, I now have the dubious honor of living with a hostile, unpettable, ugly and mangy Starveling Cat. Thanks a lot. I think.

  14. Quake 3

    Yes, you can play Quake 3 in a browser now. It’s actually been around for a few years. Still amazes me. I remember when it came out in high school and I almost shit my pants. Had to buy a new graphics card to run it.

If all 50 US states were high school students and all went to the same school, what would each state be like?

  1. New Mexico would be the kid with a crazy past that everyone debates whether it’s true or not.

  2. Minnesota would be the kid that everyone loves when they interact with him but nobody remembers.

  3. Tennessee is the kid that always wears a camo jacket and muddy boots to school. He can also fix anything with duct tape.

  4. Mississippi did not go to high school.

  5. Montana would be that girl that really likes horses

  6. Florida would be the 18 year old senior who get put on the sex offender list for having sex with a 15 year old freshman.

  7. South Dakota would be the one kid that was in everybody’s class at least once in High School, but nobody remembers him because he did nothing.

  8. Vermont would be home schooled.

  9. Connecticut would be the girl that only dated guys in college

    Kansas would be the closeted gay son of the local Baptist preacher

  10. Utah would tell on everyone……

  11. Alaska would be that loner kid that you always gotta wonder about but is secretly really chill and just likes to do his own thing

  12. Wisconsin would bring copious amounts of beer to the party. Not sure what other generalizations I can make, this was just my expierience going to high school in Wisconsin.

  13. Puerto Rico would be that hispanic kid who doesn’t actually go to the school, but always hangs out in the school parking lot

  14. Rhode island is the really small kid who knows everyone but nobody notices him. He does okay in school but afterwards gets involved with hardcore drugs while trying to fit in at college.

  15. I dunno about anybody else, but Texas is definitely the offensive lineman on the football team who gets super drunk and red face at parties.

What should the first city on Mars be called?

  1. Well it sure as fuck won’t be called Roanoke

  2. Bradbury

  3. Earth 3. Then make everyone in the future ponder what happened to Earth 2. There’d be all Atlantis style conspiracy theories.

  4. If the first pub in Mars isn’t called ‘The Mars Bar’ we may as well all just fly back to Earth

  5. Ares.

  6. de_dust

  7. Gagarin or Armstrong

  8. Omicron Persei 8

  9. Mos Eisley

  10. Level 2

  11. Newfoundland.

  12. New New York

  13. Attention.

    Mars had our Curiosity, now it has our Attention.

  14. Blueland.

    In honor of the vikings’ naming skills.

  15. Progress