[Serious] Enough of what’s wrong with the world… Reddit – what’s going right?

  1. guinea worm is close to being eradicated

  2. Violence is down in pretty much every measurable way, year over year, for decades, even centuries, going backwards. The chance of being severely harmed or killed by another human is smaller today than it was yesterday, and smaller this year than last, etc… This is true in Oakland, CA, it’s true in North America, and it’s true worldwide.

  3. 25 years of Hubble space telescope.
    New Horizons on track to pass Pluto very soon.
    Rosetta it showing us some amazing things.
    Curiosity and Opportunity are going strong.
    Cassini has blown away all expectations.
    Space, space is where I go to forget about the worlds problems. So many humans working together to solve problems and accomplish goals. Plus they are totally eager to share it all with you. For me it is very inspiring.

  4. I watched this amazing piece on 60 Minutes, and then Vice, about how doctors have been successfully treating some cancers by attacking them with other infectious diseases. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. The world of medicine gets more amazing all the time.

  5. It’s incredibly easy to travel abroad and just see and experience this planet nowadays. And I am thankful, I try to make as much use of these possibilities as I can.

  6. An organization called StoryCorp saw a comment of mine on reddit about living with cystic fibrosis after having an older sister die of the disease. They invited me to a sound booth to tell my story and it will be broadcasted on NPR this Friday!

  7. Yesterday I saw an elderly woman fall over in the street and five people rushed to help her up. She was uninjured but broke her walking frame in the fall so one of the women offered to drive her home.

    It was great to see strangers helping someone out.

  8. Prostheses are advancing at an incredible rate. It may be possible to put my brain in a robot body within my lifetime.

  9. Physics is doing very well at this point, even though it’s very difficult to understand why. The Higgs boson was a huge deal, but the press did a poor job of explaining why. The microwave drive works, but nobody knows why, and that’s exactpy the kind of thing that leads to great discoveries. We have incredible new telescopes on the way that will change our understanding of the universe, as well as a particle acceletator that will answer questions that the LHC cannot, and a gravity wave detector thousands of kilometers across that will answer one of the biggest questions in physics (if it works).

    We live in an age of scientific discovery. I encourage everyone to spend some time trying to get a handle on where modern physics is today. I’m hoping to get there by the time I’m 40, in which case it will have taken me 25 years.

  10. You. Way to bring a positive question to a forum that is so often negative!!!

  11. My 12 year old daughter learned to play a bunch of songs on her guitar that she knows I really love so that I could sing along. She’s a great kid.

  12. I just got an A on a final for a class I was sure I was going to fail 6 weeks ago. That was my very last college class so now I’m basically graduated. I might be honored as one of the top 20 students in my major. After the graduation ceremony a couple weeks from now I’m taking a 9 day cross country road trip with my now long distance fiance and the end of that trip is us finally moving in together. I now live alone with no nearby family, and I’ll be moving to the same city as my dad and fiance’s family. My mother is 54 with cystic fibrosis and is healthy enough to be removed from IV’s after a recent scare. The stress from finals was enough where I lost 10 pounds without even trying and now I look even better in my wedding dress, which I also made from scratch. The end of August is the 3 year anniversary of the last time I did heroin.

    I fought hard for a long time it feels like and now I get to reap the rewards.

  13. All the horrible things we see in the news can be fixed now, because they are actually exposed to the world.

  14. The woman I love finally loves me back.

  15. Contrarily to what the 24 hours news cycle seems to convey, the world today is more at peace than it has ever been in the past.

Women of reddit, what about men baffles you the most?

  1. A man’s need to stand up & pee is awe inspiring. I am an ICU nurse and have seen men try to rip out breathing tubes, IVs, pull themselves up when paralyzed–all in the name of standing up to pee. “Sir, you have a catheter in” means nothing to a man who feels the need to stand up & pee.

  2. Why do men (or maybe just my son and his dad) flush the toilet before they’re done peeing? I’ve never gotten a complete answer from them. It’s like it’s some secret guy code thing.

    edit: redundancy.

  3. That your penis really does have a mind of its own. It’s crazy how it just gets hard whenever it feels like it.

  4. The ability to wag one’s penis, and the look of pride when doing so

  5. It baffles me how wearing boxers don’t make your pants look like they’ve just been stuffed with cloth, which is essentially what is happening.

  6. Why must you hump me when I’m bent over?

  7. Do men ever accidentally sit on their own balls?

    Edit: Yes, I have seen balls before. I am starting to think that I sit very differently than most men do.

  8. How do you go through life having people know every time you get super turned on? It’d be so exhausting having to talk myself out of being horny just so people don’t “see” it.

  9. Where the hell do you put your dicks?

  10. How do you guys do that thing where you take off your shirt with one hand from like behind the neck??? I’m serious, other than that I think I’m past the point of feeling baffled by anything you all do…

  11. That underwear flap, do you actually use it? Or do you just pull your dick out of your underwear to pee? Cuz it seems to be that I’d be fumbling to get my dick through the flap.

  12. How their balls manage to age quicker than they do

  13. How much some penises grow during erections like holy shit where did that come from, where does it go, where did you come from cotton eye joe. Are all guys like that? I’ve also only seen a flaccid penis once, I know showers supposedly exist but I have yet to encounter one.

  14. This is a really random question but one I have been asking myself for a while and am too ashamed to ask someone in person: When guys have to pee and poop…do you pee standing up and then sit down and poop or do you just sit and pee and poop together?

    Edit: Thanks for the answers guys! Pooping is awesome for everyone!

  15. It baffles me that your ballsacks are always moving. I’ve seen one, once.

    The skin is just moving all the time. Wtf?
    Edit: I lied, I see sack on the daily. I mean the skin moving.

Teachers of Reddit, what’s the worst thing a student has discovered about your life outside of the classroom?

  1. Found out I streamed our guild raids, cheered me on privately. I bought him a lanyard when I went to BlizzCon to keep him quiet.

  2. Nothing too bad: I’ve got a relatively sanitized internet presence.

    They will google the hell out of you, though. One kid found my old punk band. It was cute.

  3. One of my students saw me at the beach. In my bathing suit. Holding a beer. With another teacher. Of the opposite gender. Rumors flew.

  4. tattoos.
    it was a hot summer day, and I was at the store in a tank top and shorts.
    my arms are fully covered in tattoos, and a good part of both legs.
    the father withdrew his daughter from my class the next day.

  5. I teach younger children. It is always weird for them to find out that I have a child and I’m not married. I think they feel like teachers always have their lives together, and it seems to be shocking that there is no husband in my life. To the point where many of them get very upset.

    Also when I was in high school, I was at a summer music festival and caught my French teacher with two beers in her hands and a joint in the one as well. She was mortified when I approached her to say hello and tried to hide everything behind her back.

  6. That I played the Mass Effect series. The kid would NOT leave me alone, every interval and lunchtime, every day after school, the kid wanted to just talk about the games. Wouldn’t be a bad thing if I didn’t have a mountain of work to do.

  7. Last time my fellow teachers and I had a happy hour outing, one of our students was a waitress at the restaurant, and another student was there with her mom. They all saw us sucking down margaritas like there was no tomorrow and being way too loud. It was fun.

  8. Not me, but my brother in laws’ teacher was selling cocaine. Not to the students, but one day he made the idiotic mistake of trying to sell the stuff to one of the janitors during school hours. He was fired and arrested before the end of school day.

  9. My son saw his teacher buying beer and it rocked his world. He mused over it for about an hour before he rationalized it and realized his teacher didn’t just exist at school to serve the needs of others. He said it was understandable that she would drink because she had to deal with some rowdy kids in the class.

  10. Not a teacher, but I was a “homework teacher” in an after school program.

    One of the kids found out that my coworker and I are husband and wife… not because we were making out or anything, just another coworker referred to her as my wife.

    You would think that wouldn’t be a problem, but parents. flipped. out. They thought we’d be making out/fucking in front of kids, even though we had both worked there for like two years and not a single person knew save for that one coworker.

  11. Having a student see you buying alcohol is always a bit weird since we hammer JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL down their throats.

    A kid accidentally saw a sliver of my tattoo and freaked out. Luckily he was the only one who noticed, and no one believed him.

  12. Not a teacher, but I saw my highschool orchestra teacher come out of a sex shop with a brown paper bag and a secretive look on his face. There was a whole group of us hanging around, so of course we couldn’t let him just go peacefully on his way with his bag of dildos and porno DVDs.

    I remember someone saying “Hey Mr C, big night tonight?” His boyfriend was waiting in the car and they both laughed and looked slightly embarrassed, but everyone was cool about it and we chatted a bit before they went off to pound each other mercilessly or whatever.

    Good dude, Mr. C was.

  13. A carful of my students once rolled up next to me while I was singing loudly along with the radio. They thought that was pretty funny. That’s it. I’m really boring.

  14. So far, i’ve had students discover my twitter and instagram, but thank god I didn’t use them much. i just finished scrubbing them clean. oof.

  15. Several years ago, I was on holiday with my family in Majorca during the summer hols. First day, in the outdoor pool with my young son. I’m not the strongest swimmer, and I’m not the most svelte. Anyway, couple of hours in, I hear from across the other side of the pool: “sir! Sir!”

    Ignore it. Can’t be. Can it?

    Then: “Sir! Mr Spudhead1976!” I look over. There’s a Year 7 pupil age11-12ish), whom I have just spent the year teaching, stood waving over at me. I grin inanely and try to sink.

    So there you go. A year 7 pupil discovered I had knees, toes and moobs.

What should people never try?

  1. As a kid, attempting to put kids floaties on your ankles and jumping into a pool

  2. blowing out a lit match in an ashtray.

  3. I have been on fire twice. I am doing my best to never be on fire again. I strongly suggest people not try being on fire.

  4. Putting your contact lenses in the same day you cut chillis.

    I don’t care if you’ve washed them a lot. You’re gonna have a bad time.

  5. Driving home while completely and utterly exhausted.

    The only time I have ever been responsible for a wreck I had worked a 13 hour shift that day and gotten almost no sleep the previous two nights. After staying up until 2 in the morning on the 4th of July I tried to drive back to my house, otherwise sober. I remember starting to nod off pretty much right as I got into the car and thinking, eh, it’s only like 20 minutes I got this. I woke up to a bowel-moving crash and a fire hydrant hurtling off into a field, as though it had been punted like a football.

    Totaled a car that my grandfather had given me 6 days prior. I was about 5 feet away from hitting a telephone pole that may have killed me.

  6. Driving fast/dangerously to show off. When I was young I was the first of my friends to pass my driving test and get a car, and I was an idiot trying to impress people. Luckily, all it took for me was an older driver who I nearly hit head on to get out his car, walk over to my window and say “I’m not going to shout at you, just slow down. You’re not invincible”

  7. Soup that is too hot.
    It’s just too hot…

  8. Heroin. I’ve never personally done it, but I’ve gotten close enough to know exactly how it works: you open a door to Narnia that you can’t really close or forget about. Years later it calls you back. You’re the king there, sure it’s dangerous but back home it’s boring and dangerous in a different way. You never really forget where the magic doorway is and every time things get terrible, you’ll just want to go back to where things are better and you’re someone great. After a while, it’s not so great but you keep wanting to check to see if it will be how it once was, and sometimes it is… Either way, it’s more exciting than the regular world and you aren’t a piece of shit in Narnia.

  9. Invading Russia in the winter

  10. Never, under any circumstance, put Bengay on your inner thigh/crotch area.

    I pulled my groin during soccer, put Bengay on my inner thigh that night… worst. decision. ever. my gouch was on fire.

  11. Taking advice from uninformed redditors. That has the chance of ruining you worse than most of these other comments.

  12. scientology

  13. Masturbating with soap

  14. Throwing up to lose weight. It’s hard to stop. Work with your emotions instead!

    Edit: If you think you might be missing the point–> Starting any addictive behavior that could lead to harm down the line– something with with a physiological basis– is a bad idea.

    It just won’t stop on its own! Work on the brain stuff before you get stuck in the cycle! Self harm, overeating, undereating, overexercise, anything that gives you cause to ignore your life and the lives of humans around you…you are capable and deserving of so much more than what these things bring. If you need relief from unbearable emotions, there are positive ways of getting that, promise.

    Also, if you happen to be a type 1 diabetic reading this, take your insulin no matter what. The results of restricting insulin to lose weight are horrifying. If you feel the need to self harm…just pm me.

    Double–edit: The discussion below is blowing my mind! You are all amazing and I’ll respond to you when I can tomorrow. Hang in there, because you’re not alone.

  15. Go on a 40 mile bicycle ride with a group friends who go on a long bike rides all the time. Last time I rode a bike was 4 months ago. It took me couple weeks to recover.

[Serious] Virgins of Reddit, what questions do you have about sex that you’ve always wanted to ask but were too embarrassed to?

  1. Three questions.

    1. How does missionary work? If the vaginal opening is so low, wouldn’t your dick have to do all kinds of acrobatics to get in there while lying on top of her? I don’t even want to imagine other positions.

    2. How do you get it in? Like do you just kind of move your hips around under the covers, stab around, and hope for the best?

    3. (This one’s more open ended) How do people transition from just talking to a girl/end of a date to sex?

    (I really hope I haven’t missed my chance to get an answer)

  2. What should I expect genitals to taste like?

  3. This is only kinda related, but how do you kiss properly / not suck at kissing?

  4. If me and a girl begin getting steamy, and she may think I’m not a virgin, should I let her know? How would I do that? If not, what could I do to hide it? Would that be a bad move?

  5. How the hell does it even happen? Do you both just decide to do it, or is at one thing leads to another thing?

  6. Is it awkward being naked in front of someone?

  7. Not a virgin, but I do have a question this thread has brought up: Like half the guys in here are saying that being inside a vagina for the first time is really intense and difficult to last as long, and the other half are saying that they couldn’t get off because they got used to death grip. Are half of all men clutching their meat tackle like it’s trying to run away and the other half just sort of loosely flapping a hand around until they cum?? Why such a sharp disparity in experience?

  8. Honesty I’m just curious what a woman’s breasts/etc are actually like…

  9. I’m a man, do I shave my pubic hair all off or just leave it very short?

    Edit: Spelling.

  10. How do I know where the hole is?

  11. How to not be so nervous? Everytime ive started messing about with a girl i start shaking and my heart starts beating really fast unless im wasted haha.

  12. People who have had sex- would you be put off if your partner just wasn’t ready? I’m 18 but I don’t feel comfortable enough with myself or with another person to have sex just yet, and I’m not sure if people would find that childish/irritating. I know people who truly care about you shouldn’t mind, but I want to know if they do? It just worries me, I guess.

  13. Is there anyway to make (m)y first time not awful for everyone involved?

  14. How long does it normally last?

  15. How hard is it to thrust? I’ve tried fucking pillows and stuff before, but my hips always get tired after a few thrusts. Hoping its easier in actual sex

Tattoo Artists and Body Piercers of reddit, what is the most uncomfortable job you have had to do? (NSFW)

  1. I’ve been piercing for about six years now. I will generalize when I say the most uncomfortable position (as a hetero female) is when women clamp their legs around your head/upper body just as you’ve penetrated the hood. It is a knee jerk reaction but not a good position, I generally use my elbows to keep their legs spread. I’ve seen so many disgusting vaginas; the back to front wipers, currently on their period girls, and once I saw fresh cum inside of a woman. It was my, or their I suppose, luck that their significant other was standing behind me watching in said situations. I made a habit of putting a couple drops of lavender oil in my mask to avoid odors. It has never made sense to me that people clean their noses out before a nostril piercing but don’t consider checking their lady bits before a genital piercing.

  2. Finger goes in Cheeto bag, finger goes in mouth, finger grabs navel piercing. “Why is it infected?”

  3. My boyfriend is a tattoo artist and owns his own shop. He once did a tattoo on an uncircumcised gentleman of a rabbit right on the head of his penis, and a top hat on the foreskin… so he would have a rabbit coming out of a hat… He’s also done Where’s Waldo’s head on the head of a penis, and tattooed a teabag (like a tetley teabag) on someone’s scrotum… The stories he tells me are phenomenal and I don’t know how he does it.

  4. Someone I used to know pierced his own sisters clit. He said later that he regretted it

  5. I was getting a tattoo, and this big homeless looking guy walks in. He looks at me, my artist, and takes his shirt off. He turns around and shows us the dragon tattoo that is half complete on his back. He then looks at my artist and says “Can you make that into, like, a fire truck or something?” My artist just exhales deeply, as I can guess this guy does this a lot or something, and says “Give me a few minutes to finish this up.”

  6. When I was in my 20’s I was a body piercer and I managed the shop I worked at. A rather large woman requested a horizontal hood piercing. This is not uncommon. What was uncommon was her anatomy was very small, I could barley find her lady parts. So her clitoris was very small and her thighs were very large. She was also very nervous and kept clamping her thighs together. I tried helping her breath and relax. This did not help. Finally threatened her that if she didn’t stop clamping her thighs together she would have a needle in her thigh and a crooked piercing. She somewhat cooperated and I finally got her piercing finished. One of my worst ever experiences in a woman’s crotch!

  7. I used to assist in piercings and suspensions at a shop my friend owned. A guy comes in for a guiche piercing. He is in a suit and tie. Not out of the ordinary. At that shop there was ton of under the suit piercing and tattoo people that came in. So for the guiche you have to get on your elbows and knees and more or less “present”. He takes off his clothes and is wearing bondage clamps on his nipples. still not that odd. He gets into position and I go to clean and sterilize the are while the piercer is setting up all the hardware. It may seem obvious to everyone reading this as it was to me, but our customer hadn’t thought to remove his massive butt-plug during undressing. Starting to be odd as I have never knowingly had anyone gettting/wanting to get pierced while wearing a butt-plug. He removes it. I get him cleaned. The piercer clamps him and he squeaks, we exchange a little question glance, needle goes, different squeak, jewelry goes in and he moans. He gets up off the table, butt-plug right back in, and goes about getting dressed. I go to prep the table and he has came ALL OVER the table. Peter North status. KAAAAaaaaaa-BOOOOOOOM. He gets dressed, pays well and tips well, and goes out the door. He came back every year to have it stretched and did the same thing except he remembered to take the butt-plug out during his undressing on subsequent visits.

  8. My aunt used to run a tattoo shop up until three years ago because it was in a bad location and she got a good enough offer of sale. My favorite story of hers was that someone came in on St. Paddys day and wanted a tattoo of a shamrock around their asshole. She refused at first but then the person offered her $2,000 and since the person was almost entirely sober she did it. After hearing this story I remembered that my cousins birthday is March 25th and she got a really nice laptop for it about 6 years back. I’m pretty sure her computer had been bought with butthole money.

    Edit: Paddy not Patty

    Edit 2: Apperently there was enough luck in that anal shamrock for me to receive gold. Thank you.

  9. I had to tattoo very early in my tattoo career, Snoopy’s Dog house around an older woman’s vagina.. When I asked why she said ” so when my husband pisses me off I can send him to the dog house!!” Fun times.

  10. I’m a tattoo artist and a piercer. There are several uncomfortable things in the job. I think one of the worst things is dealing with people coming into the shop messed up. One time we had a guy who was totally drunk and was messing with the liquor store next door and got pepper sprayed in the face and came stumbling in the shop knocking stuff over. One time I had a girl come in totally messed up and carrying around an old tube TV crying super hard saying she needed a place to stay.

    The worst one that comes to mind is this girl cane in to get her hair cut. We let her know it was a tattoo shop. She said okay so this is how I want my hair can you dye it too. Again, this is a tattoo shop. She said okay can I use the restroom. My coworker said screw it let her use it and get her out of here. So, she uses the bathroom walks out and when I check there’s tons of hair on the ground and she starts acting super crazy knocking stuff over and being irate and my coworker calls the cops. The cops come and thanked us because she escaped a mental institution in Oakland which is five and a half hours away from us.

  11. Been piercing for nearly 10 yrs. Now. One time I had a rather elderly gentleman come in. He was in his 70’s. Wore a pink 3 button Polo shirt. Kakhi shorts and golf shoes. He was in need of a jewlery change out. As his old jewelry was old and tarnishing. He had his Prince Albert stretched to a diameter of 9/16th of an inch. And it had essentially caused the urethral lining to pucker out of his piercing and pissing holes. Quick change out and clean up, and he was on his way out the door. as he was leaving he asked for my name as he put his hand out for a shake. I told him my name and he replies, “nice to meet you, I’m Dick”
    At this point I lost it and started to laugh so hard I cried. He realized his folly and laughed with me. I’ll never forget that.

  12. At a shop in Los Angeles years ago getting some work done, asked the same question to the piercing lady. She said a guy comes in regularly, full business attire, three piece suite, briefcase, oxfords, a real Patrick Bateman type. The first time in he wants to get his dick pierced. So he goes to disrobe and from his waist to his mid thigh he is covered in Disney tattoos. Like covered. Donald Duck, Micky mouse, Pluto, the whole gang. He also already has a dick piercing, actually he has close to a dozen. After his initial visit he came in every few months to add a dick ring or disney character. She said he was the weirdest client she’s ever had.

  13. Not a tattoo artist or piercer myself, but I remember the piercer being extremely annoyed that day.
    Why, you ask?
    A guy was in there 3 days earlier to get his member pierced. He came back 3 days later, when I was there to get a tattoo, to come back and complain because he thought it was infected.
    As soon as the piercer said “why do you think its infected” I saw in her face that she regretted ever asking.
    The guy got the piercing, and then proceeded to do his girlfriend up her “Hershey Highway” the next day.
    She spent the next half an hour nearly screaming from the stupidity of the guys actions, even after the told him to NOT have sex or anything of the sort.
    He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box.

  14. I used to be a mall piercer. Lets just say, if you want to get a decent piercing, please go to an actual shop, not a fucking mall kiosk. They are cleaner and have better tools than a damn gun with an earring in it. I had absolutely no training save for a 45 minute video and having to pierce 5 of my friends.

    The most uncomfortable I’ve felt is when parents would bring in their 2-3 month baby girls to be pierced. I refused to do them and nearly got fired over it.

    Edit:

    I did not expect this to blow up like this did. I just want to make a few points:

    If you had your ears pierced as a baby at a mall and they are perfectly fine, I’m genuinely happy for you! I’ve personally just seen so many babies with messed up ears due to growth, keloids and other unhappy things to be comfortable with it. Plus, in my opinion, piercing a small baby is stressful and if I’m not calm, I couldn’t be comfortable putting an earring gun to your child.

    I believe that a child should be old enough to make the decision themselves because earrings need to be properly cleaned and taken care of. An older child would be able to take more care if their ears than a toddler who would be touching them often.

    If you want to pierce your Childs ears, that is your choice, as long as you’re careful to keep everything happy and clean, the risk of infection is lowered.

    I do stand by my opinion that if you want a good piercing, doctors offices/parlors/tattoo and piercing shops are the way to go. It’s typically more sterile and they really know what they are doing, as Opposed to my 45 minute training video on a tiny black and white TV in the back of the store.

  15. I asked my artist about this and he told me a great story about this good looking blonde woman, maybe early 30s wearing a nice suit. She came in with a picture of a dog and wanted a memorial portrait tattoo of it and set an appointment for the next week.

    First thing he thought was weird was that the picture of the dog looked like just some random dog picture that she found in a magazine or something. Then she shows up and informs him that she wants the tattoo on the inside of her buttcheek, like right next to her asshole. Not one to turn down an interesting story he says let’s do it.

    So she strips down and spreads out and he starts. As if most of it isn’t weird enough at this point he notices that she almost seems to be getting off to it. Her squirming seemed normal at first because people do because it hurts, especially considering the location, but when she started moaning he knew something was up. He said the tattoo took about twice as long as something that size should have because he was having trouble with not laughing and also had to wipe the area constantly because it was “hella moist”

What is something you thought would be really sexy in bed, but wasn’t? NSFW

  1. Had a girlfriend put a Fruit Roll-Up on my cock to eat off during oral.

    Never, ever do this.

  2. Read somewhere about “cunnilingus with ice cube in mouth technique”. Tried that without telling gf. She was surprised and I think intense chill feeling on vagina when you are expecting warm tongue was too much. Out of instinct she hit me on my head and shouted, “wtf are you doing?”

    We had a good laugh.

  3. Me and GF were getting heated, she had old torn pair of pajamas on, i ripped them off her, her reaction was “meh”

  4. My girlfriend likes Smarties so I thought I was being slick as fuck having a party sized bag of them open and hid against the wall. We were making out, and in the heat of the moment I reached over and grabbed it pouring the entire bag on her stunned face, and body.

  5. My wife had bilateral hip replacement surgery, but we are quite young, both under 30, so it didn’t registered in our brains the she might had some issues with a few positions. So yeah, I’ve popped her leg right of its socket.

  6. My wife thinks biting her lip is sexy.

    I haven’t the heart to tell her it should be the bottom one..

  7. Pouring chocolate syrup on each other and licking it off. Was fun until it turned into this sticky uncomfortable mess. We were both like “umm that was interesting, wanna go shower?” I will say the shower was better than the syrup by far.

  8. I once slept with a woman who was “a demon in the sack”, complete with low guttural growling, eyes rolling to whites, and savage biting and scratching. I didn’t know whether to keep fucking her, or call an exorcist.

  9. Tearing off her panties.

    It seems so sexy, that kind of “I fucking want you NOW!” type mood, but in reality it tends to leave really bad fabric burns if the panties aren’t the right material and you don’t do it just right.

  10. Getting laid in a bathtub full of slippery, slimy, newly-scraped-out pumpkin seeds turned out to be far more intriguing in fantasy than reality.

  11. Blowing my bf at the time with a mint in my mouth. Apparently underwhelming according to him.

    ^^^I ^^^may ^^^or ^^^may ^^^not ^^^have ^^^read ^^^it ^^^in ^^^Cosmo. ^^^I’m ^^^sorry

  12. One time after a dress rehearsal for a dance recital I was in, my partner thought it would be fun if I wore my stage makeup for sexy times. He got creeped out really quickly, seeing as how my makeup resembled the dude from “A Clockwork Orange”.

  13. DON’T BITE THE CLITORIS. EVER.

  14. Anything Cosmopolitan suggests.

  15. Sex with my wife has been getting strange lately. She’s in a “nothing is sexy” phase.

    When I pull out and finish on her stomach/chest she usually loves it.

    Last time I did it, she says: “You look like a drunk guy pissing on the sidewalk”