[Serious] Reddit, what secret did your spouse keep from you until after you were married?

  1. Herpes. Wish I was kidding. Found out from her obstetrician when she was six months pregnant and we went in for an appointment and his first question to her was, “How’s the herpes, any flare ups?”

  2. She started saving for our wedding 1 week after we met.

  3. That he had an 8 year old son with a woman he slept with one time.

  4. I got married on Friday. Wife broke down Sunday and admitted her dyslexia is worse than she told me in he past. She struggles to read, yet reads a lot and gets anxiety in social situations where she may be asked to read aloud.

    She’s pretty insecure about it. She fears our future kids will struggle like she did.

    She had a teacher who called her “girl who can’t read.” Her dad, who is an incredibly loving guy, who my wife adores, once told her that he didn’t want her in special classes to help her because he didn’t want his daughter being “one of the stupid kids.”

    I did my best to reassure her that this changes nothing and I love her dearly. I will be there to support her as we attempt to help her with this.

You’re more likely to win the lottery than… what?

  1. Die on the moon.

  2. Win the lottery twice

  3. Getting the NCAA brackets completely right: 1 in 9 quintillion

    Your house getting hit by a meteor: 1 in 182,138,880,000,000

    Getting 6 consecutive double-yoked eggs: 1 in 1,000^6

    Shuffling a deck of cards into perfect, sequential order: 1 in 10^68

    Your existence: 1 in 10^2,685,000

    Source (with individual sources for each one)

  4. Get bitten by a shark, while being struck by a lightning bolt.

  5. Die in a plane crash whilst flying on a commercial airline.

  6. Getting an actual statistic to be 99.9%.

  7. Meeting Adolf Hitler and his Clone army in Argentina

  8. have Ray Charles see your newborn child

  9. See the Cubs win the World Series. :'(

  10. Become president of the United States.

  11. Be rejected by the OP’s mom…..

  12. …watch an Oscars telecast that finishes on schedule.

  13. Shuffle a deck of cards into the same order twice. Ever. Even if you shuffled them constantly for your entire life.

    Here’s something to wrap your mind around: If you were to give every person on earth a deck of cards and have them shuffle them constantly, and were to remove one drop of water at a time from the earth’s oceans, you would empty the oceans before you shuffled every possible order of the cards.

  14. Trying to get rich by playing the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by travelling by commercial airlines

  15. You’re more likely to win the lottery than you are to be bitten by a shark whilst climbing Mount Everest as a member of the world’s first Nude Mountaineering Crew that recently had a folk-fusion album go quadruple platinum in Malaysia.

[Serious] People who have been in a viral video/photo, how has it affected your life for the better or worse?

  1. Ex-Coworker posted a video on youtube of his twins ‘talking’ to each other for his relatives to see.

    He sent the link around the office and we all laughed and sent it to our friends. I think I was view number 16.

    It now has over 114 million views and has been parodied all over the place.

    He’s put any money earned into their college fund.

  2. If you google “White People Summer Problems” you will see my sunburn. I pretty much just get friends posting on my wall that they saw it on some website every day during Summer.

    EDIT: Here – https://www.google.com/search?q=white+people+summer+problems&rlz=1C5CHFAenUS508US508&oq=white+people+summer+problems&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i60j69i61l3j69i59.3094j0j7&sourceid=chrome&essm=91&ie=UTF-8

  3. I recently had the Viral Video “Magician Gets out of Speeding Ticket with Magic”. The video has literally changed my life in so many ways. I went from being a mostly local performer to some national gigs where I get to fly out to the event and perform magic. The viral video led to two national TV appearances and the story was covered by a large amount of news websites and social media sites.

    Just the fact that I can say I was on National Television multiple times and have had dozens of major news sites cover me makes a HUGE difference on the rates I typically charge clients. Added all those big names on the homepage of my website adds lots of credibility.

    The video has led to some of the most amazing opportunity that I only could have dreamed about. I have some pretty big plans for the future and viral video has gave me a nice stepping stone. I can also say that I had a more successful AMA than David Blaine. LOL

  4. Don’t know if this counts as viral, but it is pretty funny. I was in this video, uploaded by someone I don’t know. I’m the guy in the red shirt, and a lot of the comments are about me, and how unfortunate my whiteness is. Pretty hilarious if you ask me.

  5. Im not sure if this is considered viral, but My brother and I changed the ending of toy story 3 and had my mom watch it for the first time and convinced her all the toys die.
    I got emails about doing sponsorships and stuff but I didn’t even bother due to copyright stuff with Pixar.
    Hasn’t changed us at all except my mom is not easy to prank anymore because she’s always on guard. That’s why there hasn’t been any new pranks haha.

  6. I don’t know what your definition of “viral” is but I posted a video to reddit about a year ago and it got over half a million hits the first week (now at like 1.20 mill). I got a few offers for sponsorship of the video at like 3 am the night that I posted it. I accepted the one I thought would give me the biggest payout (I thought I might get 100-200 bucks out of it). The next morning I get a call from Inside Edition wanting to interview me at my house. I said yes and did the interview. I started getting a few calls from family and friends saying they saw me on TV. Most of the local stations ended up doing at least a small story on it. A month later I ended up with $2500 in ad revenue. I paid off my credit cards with the money and still get $50 every couple months when the ad revenue reaches the minimum payout threshold. It didn’t change my personality at all, honestly now it’s just kind of a cool thing that happened a while ago, but that’s about it. Just something I crossed off my bucket list now.

    Edit: [The video for anyone who cares] (http://youtu.be/ANvIgaa5NpM)

    Edit 2: If you want to see me actually acting there’s a couple stupid videos I did with my friends located in the bowels of YouTube. I’m the one that yells a lot. Shameless promotion of a dead channel

  7. I attended a protest for higher education budget cuts in Pennsylvania – holding a sign that said “Fine, I’ll just be a stripper.” My picture made it all over Twitter and I was then interviewed by local newspapers and a very well-known radio station. It was good for networking purposes.

  8. I wrote a blog post exposing this Facebook famous guy named Farrah Gray. You’ve probably seen your friends share his shit every now and then. He touts himself as a millionaire, but his story didn’t add up. So I did some investigating, wrote a post, published it. Then one day this past July, a magazine published a similar story to mine and linked my post. It got a buttload of views.

    The guy it was about eventually saw it and threatened to sue me. I told him to go for it, but nothing came of it.

    People occasionally send me stories about him which more or less back up my claims.

    Here’s the post if anyone wants to see it.

  9. I just randomly decided to photoshop some camels and thought posting it here at 2AM was a brilliant idea. I woke the next morning to find I had over 2K karma, and a few offers to put the image on a shirt. I went through with putting the design up on Teepsring.com and it sold 100 shirts, one of which I bought, and that was kind of it.

    The shirt still gets some comments and weird looks every once in a while.

  10. I had a Kickstarter video for Period Panties go viral early in 2014. Within 6 hours of launching the project, I had hit my goal of $10,000. After 30 days, I had raised $400K. Throughout the campaign, it was on the front page of Reddit a couple of times and the video was featured on Buzzfeed, Salon, Jezebel, TMZ and @Midnight. I went from being a semi struggling artist to now being in charge of a legitimate company with 2 full time employees. My life is infinitely better now- the only downside is when people on the street call me Panty Man. It’s not the worst thing to be called.

  11. A friend of mine was the guy keeping a straight face in “How animals eat their food.” Their channel blew up and IIRC, the other guy he made the video with got bank off selling their YouTube channel while my friend got a shitty cut of the money. They also got flown around the US for those Youtube events and stuff which is pretty cool.

    Their video is currently at 112 million views, so odds are you saw it.

  12. I was in a very popular Garry’s Mod video that was made back in 2007 and made one of the most well-known skits for the second video in the series. The first one has 8 million views and the second has 6 million. Really the only way it’s affected my life is when I hear people quoting that skit, especially when I don’t even know them. It’s just plain weird to me.

    The videos in question are The Idiots of Garry’s Mod and The Idiots of Garry’s Mod 2 and the skit mentioned is the “yabba my icing” skit from the second.

  13. I wasn’t in it, per se, but I drew a picture of Gandalf in a suede chair at my school and it got loads of attention, so that was pretty cool. Nothing changed, I just keep having people ask if I’m planning on drawing anything else haha.
    Someone drew Gandalf's face onto a suede seat cushion at my University

  14. Not a video but one of our items on etsy went viral for about a month. I made 14 grand in 4 days then another 10 grand over the next two weeks.

    Edit: For anybody who is curious, here is the exact link that went viral.

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/122801892/glitter-pills?

  15. oh boy, here we go. I made a viral video when I was only 12 back in 2009, and it has over a million hits now. my other videos got 100k+ views as well, I was pretty excited at the time. I ended up getting into a concert for free, some newspaper interviews and my own 10-minute segment on an episode of a tv show. I had ad revenue coming in and had around $300 just from that, which was fun.
    I got a lot of hate messages and trolls since I was just a kid, and my videos were very silly in nature. I’m also visibly disabled, so they picked at that, too. That stuff began to get to me and I made videos less and less because of it. I was overwhelmed with pressure to make them because of how many subscribers I’d gotten. I attempted to reboot it a few times, but to no avail. Now I don’t make them anymore, and they’re all private so I’ll stop getting cruel messages.
    Honestly, the horrible things I’ve been told through that still hurt a great deal. They continue even now, on any screenshot or short clip of one of the videos. I can’t handle that anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make them again, and I used to love it.
    Sorry this story isn’t very happy or funny, but not all viral-video experiences are.

What is the creepiest experience that has ever happened to you or somebody else? [serious] [NSFW]

  1. My mom worked at Tampa General Hospital in the 1980s, on the graveyard shift with like four other women and one guy. In 1984, a serial killer started a spree during the summer, and his victims were young women (I think they were later discovered to be prostitutes). My mom and her co-workers were all in their 20s at the time, so after one of the murders made the news again, they got really nervous about having to walk back to their cars at the end of their shift, in the middle of the night. So the one male co-worker, Bobbie Joe Long, walked them to the parking garage, my mom included.

    A few weeks later, Long was arrested and charged with all the murders after one of his intended victims escaped. So yeah, that one’s a little freaky.

    Edit: Added link, since a lot of you seem to be interested in who he is/what he did.

  2. Told this before…

    Was “forced” to give a ride to a criminal one night after getting off work at 2am in the morning. I was completely alone in empty parking lot and he approached from behind a building as I opened my car. I offered the car but he didn’t want it. He only wanted a ride and the threat was implied. His hands & face where bloody and he said he had just been jumped. I didn’t see much choice so I gave him a ride. It turned out ok but I called 911 when I got home. Detective came the next day and took a statement. Years later another detective came to get another statement. Turns out he may have been involved in a robbery/murder. So many years had passed I couldn’t remember much detail. Don’t know what happened after that.

  3. Told this story before, but – Wife and I were in a motel room, she was asleep and I was just starting to doze off when I heard a male voice speak just above a whisper: “I think they’re asleep now.”

    I flew out of bed, turned on all the lights, looked in the bathroom, shower, under the bed, behind the curtains, checked the window. I mean it was a motel room, where could someone hide.

    I realized I had experienced a Hypnagogic Hallucination. If I had not known about Hypnagogic Hallucinations I would have concluded the room was haunted.

  4. The doorbell rang late at night, around 1 while I was watching tv. I went upstairs and looked out the window on the side of the door, nobody was there. It rang again, i was freaked out and waited a bit, then stretched up and looked through a window at the top of the door and there was someone pressed up against the door huddled in the corner. I freaked and stood still for a minute. I looked up again and I saw a hooded person running away from the house down the street.

  5. My coworker told me this once and thinking about it still sends shivers down my spine:

    One night she realizes that she’s down to only one cigarette, so she decides to walk on down to the little corner mart that was located just a few streets down from her apartment building. If I remember correctly she said that the sun had just started to set, so by the time she got to the store, bought the cigarettes, and started walking back home it was dark out. The weather that week had been pretty shitty and so it was somewhat foggy that night, but she wasn’t too scared because this was a place she was familiar with and felt safe.

    She said about five minutes into the walk home she heard footsteps behind her. She didn’t think anything of it at first, but when she could still hear the footsteps after five more minutes she began feeling slightly anxious. She suddenly became very aware of how dark it was outside now and how empty the street she was on seemed. Then she heard a faint voice from behind her where the footsteps had been. Whoever was following her started to sing:

    “Rock-a-bye baaabyyy…from the tree top..”

    At this point she said she was in full panic mode, so she started to pick up her pace. The person behind her followed suit and the footsteps moved quicker.

    “…when the wind bloowss…the cradle will rock…”

    She finally made it back to her apartment building and yanked open the door of the lobby as fast as she could. The footsteps had stopped. She sprinted up the stairs to her apartment and looked out the window to see if the person was still there.

    Outside in the courtyard she could make out the faint shape of a man’s figure, standing there looking up right at her window. She said he stayed there like that for a good ten minutes before walking off.

    Ever since this incident if she needs cigarettes, she has her son give her a ride to the store.

Rick from Pawn Stars calls you in to be an expert. What is your expertise and the item you are examining ?

  1. Vaginas.
    Been a labor and delivery nurse for 15 years.
    I have seen some shit, people.

  2. mechanical keyboards and mechanical keyboard accessories

    “you see, the click on this key is quite good, but if you listen closely, the clack is what concerns me”

  3. “Rick, this is a dildo.”

    “I know you’re an expert in these things.”

    “You didn’t tell me it was a dildo, Rick.”

    “How much would you say it’s worth?”

    “I don’t know, I’ve never owned a dildo, Rick, let alone estimated one’s value. This isn’t funny, this is on live television. Please don’t call my number again.”

    “He’s asking for $10,000 for it. Do you think it’s authentic?”

    “God damn it, Rick.”

  4. NES games. We will have a copy of Battletoads.

  5. Recordings of old time radio programs. And the resale value of anime VHSs

    Customer: So my dad and my son just died in an awful head-on llama collision. I was going through their stuff and found audio recordings of detective dramas from the late 50’s in my grandfather’s closet and “The YuGiOh Battle City Collection” on VHS in my son’s. Can you help me out?

    Rick: I know a guy
    EDIT: If anyone’s interested in old time radio, /r/otr is a great subreddit that could use some love

  6. Diesel Mercedes.

  7. Marvel action figures. I have a rather large collection and pride myself on knowing most of the information about each character and series as they’re released. I also know the market values of them, so don’t fuck with me and say your goddamn Bullseye is MOC and worth $50 because they were double packed to a case… that figure is worthless and you should go die Paul.

  8. Rick, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that this sandwich is 100% authentic. No doubt in my mind that this is the real deal. Notice the way the meat is surrounded by bread? You can’t fake that.

    Furthermore, if you bite the sandwich…

    *bites sandwich*

    …you’ll see this is a highly edible sandwich. No gut, no matter how strong, can handle the typical plastic forgery.

    However, upon closer inspection, this sandwich has a bite taken out of it. I’m sorry, but as real as it is, it’s worthless.

    Edit: Wow… I typed this comment at work and come back to see a new personal top comment and gold?! I’ve heard of this happening, but I never thought it would happen to me. Y’all are the best! 🙂

  9. Not a funny answer, but the truth: Brazilian Historical Architecture. So if he’s making a deal on a baroque house, I’m the one to call.

  10. Capsules.

    After a long tour of a capsule manufacturing plant, I can now identify if it’s vegan (dull and more easily breakable), from pigs (very shiny, vibrant colour & more flexible) or from cows (less vibrant colour and less of a shine). It was a long tour.

  11. Expired condoms that are still in their original packaging and have never been opened.

  12. Metallica albums.

    “Yup, the one that says Ride the Lightning on it is Ride the Lighting. Glad I could help.”

  13. The pass or fail status of retro-reflectivity on highway traffic signs.

    Shines light

    “Yup.”

  14. I can identify and name most Ikea furniture. Billy, Hemmes, Laiva, Galant, the list goes on and on. Show me a picture and I can name the brand and give a good estimate of the retail value.
    Why? Because Ikea is awesome.

  15. Any Runescape item. You just need to right click and press ‘examine’. I’m a master at that.

If it was discovered that one animal species had actually been aliens that have been spying on Earth this entire time, what species would you expect it to be?

  1. Flies, they are literally everywhere great for surveillance and gathering data. Plus they always do that menacing looking hand rub when they aren’t flying like they’re plotting world domination or some shit.

  2. Mosquitos… Stealing blood samples without us knowing.

  3. There are actually two species here, squirrels and dogs. The squirrels arrived first, scouting us and planning to exterminate all humans. Once the dogs learned the squirrels were here, they sent a vast army to defend us. The squirrel, dog war has been raging for millions of years, across many solar systems. They are very bitter enemies.

  4. It totally isnt squids…

  5. Parrots, they repeat to keep us unaware, but they retain everything they hear, and are relaying information telepathically to their alien overlords.

    (Dolphins and mice were taken)

  6. Water bears. From wikipedia:

    > they can withstand temperatures from just above absolute zero to well above the boiling point of water (100°C), pressures about six times greater than those found in the deepest ocean trenches, ionizing radiation at doses hundreds of times higher than the lethal dose for a human, and the vacuum of outer space. They can go without food or water for more than 10 years, drying out to the point where they are 3% or less water, only to rehydrate, forage, and reproduce.

    Now if that doesn’t scream “bioengineered micro surveillance drone” I don’t know what does.

  7. Platypus. Definitely the platypus. Little alien fucks.

  8. Snails. All slow and small & slimey. They got those weird ass eyes that go into their body when you touch them & those motherfuckers even got their own shell to live in rent free. Shit, who knows what the fuck snails are even tryna do on a day to day basis other then spy on us. You ever see a snail on the wall of your house and think how the fuck he got there with out you noticing seen as they asses so slow. Ima tell you, they teleport onto your wall. How? Cause they from another planet with some crazy ass technology that’s how. So yeah, next time you see a snail, just know that lil homie be watching your every move.

  9. Crows

  10. cats.

  11. Owls

  12. Ants, they’re so efficient it’s almost scary

  13. Mice, gotta be mice. In reality they are a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent species of beings whose third-dimensional extensions merely resemble white mice.

  14. Humans

  15. Cockroaches

Add “ing” to any movie title. What is the movie about now?

  1. Jurassic Parking. Now about teaching dinosaurs how to drive.

  2. Breakfast Clubbing – Clubbing so late that you’re actually clubbing really early.

  3. Dude, Where’s My Caring – A man wakes up to find he couldn’t give a shit.

  4. James Bonding. This time it’s personal.

  5. The Greying – Liam Neeson stops coloring his hair and accepts his gradual aging.

  6. Sawing: woodwork, lots of woodwork

  7. World War Zing:

    Epic battle of spices and condiments. Which one will reign supreme?

  8. Ironing Man. About a stay at home dad.

  9. Fasting and furious.

    Now it’s about angry, hungry, religious folk.

  10. Lord of the Ringing; the master of prank phone calls.

  11. Pacific Rimming – Need I say more? Need I?

  12. The Landing Before Time… How will things play out when your flight lands… Ahead of schedule…

  13. The Ringing – One man’s life is marred by permanent Tinnitus.

  14. Thoring

    Ith about a thuper hero who thors through the thky.

  15. Die Harding – A political thriller set in the 1920’s about a series of assassination attempts on Warren G. Harding for his early progressive stance on Civil Rights.