I’d name it “One of Ours”, and never get fired upon.
>Ensign, identify that ship.
>It’s… One of Ours, sir.
For Ships and Giggles
“Captain Jack’s Silly Sailboat”
We’d only attack Disney Cruises, many of us in costume.
People would think it was a show until we’d already taken over.
test ship please ignore
The S.S. Limewire
Jenny. I’d name all my ships Jenny.
The Flaccid Plank.
The Titanic II: Electric Boogaloo
The Sloop Doggy Dogg.
Edit: Obligatory thanks for the gold, stranger. This is my father’s joke from back when I was a wee Fleudian and we used to get up on Saturday mornings and play Sid Meier’s Pirates together.
Rum Forrest Rum
I found my mom’s vibrator. And I was horny. So I turned it on and put it against my dick and rubbed up and down until I came. Only until my post-cum consciousness kicked in did I realise the horror
Got an in-house suspension, which is when you have to sit in a room all day at school rather than stay at home. The room I had to stay in was attached directly to the vice-principal’s office. It had nothing in it except for a table and a chair; I was supposed to be doing homework all day.
After a few hours of doing nothing and no one checking in on me I beat the shit out of my dick. Came on the carpet.
Reposting my comment from a similar thread about a year ago…
I was about 13. I was out fishing in the great outdoors, swimming through the water and fishing in one of these things (so I’m partially under the water). I’d been out there for a while, and I got the urge. Odd, since there’s nothing boner inducing about fishing, perhaps it was a boredom boner since I wasn’t getting any bites. Long story short, I jerked it. I came into the water and the current began to take it. It was no more than 5 or so feet away from me when a fish came up and ate it. I turned a rainbow trout into a cum guzzling fish-whore.
Masturbated on a coach whilst everyone around me was asleep. I found out last year the girl who sat next to me wasn’t.
Masturbated while tubing down a river. My family was 200 yards behind me.
I masturbated on an airplane. That was cool I guess
Put ice cubes in my butts for fun
I once tried masturbating with a Neapolitan ice cream bar. Not sure why I thought it would help, but I did it anyways.
When I was 12, I was home alone and extremely horny. When masturbation wasn’t enough, I walked around the house, naked, with a boner. I was looking for somewhere to put it in. After some searching, I saw my bicycle. I laid it down on the floor and piledrived my penis into the peg. I only got 2 pumps in before I realized how terrible of an idea this was.
I proceded to feel disgusted with myself for the rest of the summer.
Used a plastic sandwich bag as a condom.
I tried to fuck my couch when I was 13.
Not even a throwaway I have no shame.
Poured shampoo all over my dick when I was laying in the bath.
Got some in the peehole.
Days of endless sharp jabs of agony.
After I worked so hard for two years to get into nursing school, I came home after my first day at the hospital and realized how much I hated nursing.
When I was 17 I was rappelling into a 103m pit on a 60m rope. I had a second rope. My plan was to “find a ledge or something” and fix the second rope and continue down.
There was no ledge.
Also, this was a cave. My only source of light was the weak headlamp on my helmet. I couldn’t see the rope below me well. It wasn’t until I had 3m of rope left that I discovered I hadn’t knotted the end.
Bricks were shat.
I had to tie the second rope to the first in midair with my hands shaking and then switch my rappel rig across the knot. I remember the sweet feeling of my feet touching the ground of the bottom of the pit.
I’ll never forget this moment. My mom and I were driving down I-95 in Connecticut in the winter. We were traveling at easily 70 miles an hour. It was clear, no snow, but cold, and well below freezing. My mom, who is around 60 years old at the time, and an excellent driver, hit a patch of black ice while driving around a slight bend. Our car, a mid sized suv, does a complete 360 degree spin. I’ll never forget the moment that I locked eyes with the driver in the car behind us. The absolute terror on his face surely matched my own. It was as if he knew he was looking into the eyes of a man about to die in a horrific car accident. In that split second I resigned myself to that fate. I screamed like a 14 year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert with One Direction as a surprise appearance. My mom on the other hand, remained unfazed. She was like Vin Diesel in The Fast and the Furious, colder than the ice patch we spun out on. She didn’t the brakes. She didn’t freak out. She was in her element. She was in the fucking zone. The car completed a full revolution and we simply continued driving. We never even slowed down. After a few moments of stunned silence, my 60 year old mother smirks, with this twisted grin and asks “How good am I?” I swear to this day, that she enjoyed it.
TLDR My 60 year old mom is a goddamn stunt driver slash adrenaline junkie.
I was driving home one night and this car went straight through an intersection and almost t-boned me. Right as I slammed on the breaks, I laid on the horn. The car just stopped and didn’t move. Without giving it much thought, I kept driving. About 5 minutes later I pull into a parking lot and just as I’m about to get out of the car some really big dude starts running at me and screams something like, “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU HONKING AT?!!?” I didn’t even realize I was being followed. I was 17 and he was probably 30-35. Just before he tried opening my door, I screeched my tires and took off. I’m by myself, and there are 3 people in their car. They were on my ass every single turn that I took so I jumped onto a super busy street and started weaving in and out of cars. About 10 minutes pass, and it feels like an hour. I was going almost 60 in a 40mph zone, but they were still right behind me. I took a corner super fast and thought I lost them. Nope. Sure enough they were right behind me, and they were screaming to pull over. The next thing I know, this total piece of shit car starts flashing its brights at me and honking. They had called their friends. There were 2 white trash dudes in that car and one of them started throwing change at me. When they tried to box me in, I had no choice but to drive through a bunch of grass right outside of a grocery store. Several people saw it and called the police, who ended up pulling me over about 2 minutes after my little stunt. One was cool and understanding while the other was asking me the same question over and over; “Why didn’t you call us right away?” Anyone that’s been in a situation like this knows how scary it is, and how important it is to make every second count. The last thing you want to do is wrap your car around a pole as you’re taking corners and running from a serious beating/possibly death. After giving the description of the two cars and telling them everything from the beginning, they escorted me home. My car didn’t leave the garage for almost 2 weeks.
I was a civ contractor on a small COP (combat outpost) in Afghanistan. Weed grew all over this base but the CO would regularly have them all cut down. Alot of people got creative and would hide them or plant them in hesco barriers so they could eventually get high.
Well for a couple of days we had a general at our base because it wasn’t safe to fly. So one night I’m by a generator smoking a blunt and the general walks by. He asked in a very commanding tone what I was doing. I lied because I didn’t want to get fired or worse and he asked for a drag. Knowing there was no way out I just gave it to him and he took a drag and said “this isn’t a cigarette”.
So at this point I was freaking the fuck out. He takes a few more drags, laughs, pats me on the shoulder and tells me to have a good night. The next day and following week I was super paranoid but nothing ever happened.
tl; dr got caught smoking weed by a two star general. He smoked most of it then left. Nothing ever happened.
I was trapped under a capsized boat. My life vest was preventing me from going under deep enough to pop back up on the other side.
The current was strong and there were significant rocks and rapids.
I knew staying under the boat could be fatal due to the rocks and I knew pulling off my vest wasn’t really the best thing either. I was scared shitless.
That was my “I’m so fucked” moment, but to finish the story…
I was about to just risk it and take off the vest when I saw light from one side. The raft had hit another large rock and tilted up. I ran into that rock (which FUCKING HURT) and held on. I was able to stay attached to the rock and wiggle/submerge just enough to get out of the air pocket.
Shortly after, the tail raft was able to get to me and scoop me up. My raft mate was tossed out when we capsized and was holding on to the side rope the whole time.
I ended up with a badly bruised rib and a few cuts but nothing too bad.
I accidentally pinged my female boss “can you come here for sex” .
I meant “can you come here for sec” .
I had never been so afraid in that one moment ever.
Luckily she just laughed it off.
It started pouring down rain on my drive home at 2am one night. I pretty much said, “Oh Shit!”, and came-to pinned to my steering wheel with my roof. Apparently I skidded into the ditch, played ping pong with the local trees, and ended up in a swamp. It was freezing rain, I couldn’t move, and I didn’t have anyway of getting help. I knew I was hurt, but I didn’t know how bad. I had a shotgun next to me I tried to reach for. I was going to shoot out the windshield, and pray someone called the law for hearing gun shots. BTW my truck was filling with rainwater, and I thought drowning was possible at this moment. Another 6″, and I could have reached the gun, but it never happened. That’s all I remember until I woke up in ICU.
But yeah, being pinned to my steering wheel, not knowing why, having freezing rain pour on me, and being stranded on a road with very little traffic, I knew I was fucked!
After a horrible breakup, and a 2 year streak of first (no second) dates, I had finally found a girl that I clicked with. She kissed me on the first date, so things were already going well.
Then, date 3 came along. We were cuddling in the dark, saying sweet things, and that’s when my brain and mouth betrayed me.
I said, “I love you.”
Losing control of my vehicle and realizing it would only end with me crashing. It went through my head “Yep, this really might be it,” and I felt this calm wash over me.
Seventeen years old. Parents came home from England two days early. I was at work, best friend and his girlfriend were upstairs in a guest bedroom, and an empty keg was floating in a garbage can full of melted ice in the kitchen
Sorry this story is kind of long, but yeah. Here goes..
I was arrested for Deliverance of Marijuana outside a Circle K less than a block from my house by two undercover officers. One was tall and gangly and wearing a Canadian tuxedo and the other one looked like Dog the Bounty hunter but he was wearing a beige, knit sweater.They had seen which house I came out of and walked us back to my house.
So me, my girlfriend, homey Dog the Bounty Hunter and the poster child for Levi Strauss are seemingly hanging out on my porch, me in handcuffs. Dog is trying to get me to let him search my house. “No. Nope. No. Uh uh. Look man, it’s just plain not going to happen without a warrant.” This goes on for maybe half an hour. During this time, my straight edge, clean cut roommate walked out of the house, just stared at us for a second and then got into his car and left with a kinda “oookkkkaaaaaay..?” look on his face. Then Dog starts gettin’ serious. He give me an ultimatum, I can either let them search the “just so we can makre sure you don’t have a pound of heroin in there! hyuk hyuk” and if he sees some weed or bongs or whatever, he doesn’t care and won’t charge anyone with it.
Or option B: he will extract everyone from the home, “park a few squad cars on the lawn” and not let anyone in until he gets a warrant, at which point he will search the house and charge every roomate with whatever he finds.
So, I’m thinking “that’s totally not legal. …I think. That can’t be legal. …I’m not a lawyer though…” My main concern was that my clean cut roommate might get in trouble and lose his awesome job. I couldn’t let that happen just cause I fucked up.
Ah, you might be wondering why I’m so anxious about letting the cops in (or probably not, who wants that). I was in the process of moving a large quantity of illegal substances. At this extremely unfortunate time, everything was just laid out on the coffee table in my bedroom. I don’t want to really go into details but I will say it involved amounts in pounds of different substances, all had just been seperated and were ready to go.
Anyway, I’m too scared of ruining my roommates life and agree to let one of them (turned out to be Dog, of course) search just my room and leave it be. He agreed. Note: before anyone says anything about that agreement being worthless and he could have broken it at any time, I know that, but I was doing my best here.
Dog comes in, sees a bong in the living room, true to his word he doesn’t care. I take him upstairs, to the door to my bedroom and…. past it to the next door. Mr. Clean Cut roommates room.
This was my moment of “I am so fucked.” I’m standing here with a cop less than ten feet away from an amount of drugs that could put me away for a long time. I was sure he was gonna go back on his word and search everywhere, or Denim Dan was gonna walk up and just look wherever he wanted since I had already given him access. I’m sweating bullets and the fact that my pants remained feces free was a shock to me.
So in goes Dog. He tears the place up. Luckily there were no fucking pictures of roommate and his gf, but that was the background of his computer which I shut off before Dog could see it.
Again, true to his word (well, he didn’t mention he was going to trash the place, but yeah) he doesn’t find anything more than my roommates girlfriend’s pipe and a couple baggies so he leaves me with my ticket and torn up room. The look on my girlfriends face when we walked out on the porch and he said everything was clear was priceless.
I stopped selling after that. Ended up getting a 61.00 fine and 80 hours community service for the Deliverance charge (I had a very good lawyer who was friends with my prosecuting attorney.)
TL;DR: I was ten feet away from several years in Federal Pound Me In The Ass prison.
Edit: Just to clarify, I finished the deals I was in, got rid of all of my product and then quit. It took me less than a week to do that as I had almost all of it planned out on where to go and basically just did deliveries/waited for people to come over for a few days and it was gone. I would have screwed over myself and a lot of people if I hadn’t and also just plain could not afford to just give all of that shit away or ditch it, so I weighed the risk and did what I did.
Also, delivering/selling marijuana is illegal both inside and outside of a Circle K. I want to be very clear on that 🙂
Survived 3 major accidents. Car, motorcycle & quad. Time DOES slow down & its amazing what flashes through your mind in an instant . Seatbelts & helmets do save lives & definitely keep you out of the vegetable isle.
When my mother came running into my room with a rolled up magazine. She starts hitting me with it screaming ‘what did you do?!’ Calling me a little shit and an asshole.
I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.
Turns out that several weeks before while my parents were away, I had several friends over. While at work I told them they could drink whatever they wanted as long as they replaced it……
They found my parents anniversary bottle of champagne. A bottle given to them on their wedding day and had been carefully stored in anticipation of their 50th.
You can’t replace that.
When I came home and both my parents were home already (never happens) and they were sitting at yhe kitchen table waiting for me
Most insects (bumblebees included) don’t simply flap their wings up and down. Each stroke (and both the up and down strokes) can be angled and turned depending on what they are trying to accomplish. Additionally they flap very fast. This combination of speed and variety of wing strokes allow many insects to change direction rapidly.
How fast are their wings? Synchronous flight muscles beat at 5 to 200 hertz (Hz), in those with asynchronous flight muscles, wing beat frequency may exceed 1000 Hz.
Not exactly about bumblebees, but this was the subject of an article on the BBC just a few days ago, though I couldn’t immediately find the original source:
Apparently they make subtle changes to each wing stroke to adjust their flight.
Being small gives you the same inherent advantages that being large gives you disadvantages: strength scales as a square of “size” (e.g. height), while mass scales as the cube. You know how you physically can’t get titanically large because eventually your muscles physically can’t be strong enough to move you, your heart can’t be large enough or strong enough to pump your blood, etc.? Well, the smaller you get, the stronger your muscles get, in relative terms. I can guarantee you that the fact that bees are small is a significant portion of the reason they’re so nimble. Their inertia decreases more quickly with size than their muscular strength does, so they can be physically capable of much higher accelerations than larger organisms.
Charged particles that move through a magnetic field are deflected at right angles to the field (Lorentz force). Since your brain operates via moving charges, very strong magnetic fields can affect brain function. It can cause can cause neurological effects such as vertigo or seeing flashes, particularly when the patient moves his head.
MRI use static magnetic field. So, you start increasing the strength, and at some point it will start doing damage, starting with brain and heart, major organs with some sort electric field.
In a strong magnetic field, any atom that has any magnetic moment starts lining up. For the most part this is no big deal; indeed, it is what makes MRI scans possible. In very strong fields, any molecule that has any magnetic moment at all (i.e. nearly all of them) start both lining up and elongating as the field interacts with their magnetic moment. This radically changes how those molecules interact with others; in other words, basic chemistry is changed. Since we rely on chemical reactions to survive, we wouldn’t last very long.
At some point Diamagnetism will take effect, since water is diamagnetic and we are mostly made of water. I think this is what will kill the organism at higher Teslas (not sure how high).
even an MRI scan will have noticeable effects on the nervous system.
[here’s one example] (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982211009353): some people get vertigo during MRI scanning; and everyone gets at least some degree of nystagmus, tiny compensatory eye movements. the theory is that the magnetic field is affecting the endolymph in the vestibular system, producing a false sense of movement.
the effects also depend on the orientation of the field, and the way it’s introduced. [Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranialmagneticstimulation) (TMS) is a popular technique for disrupting brain activity, using a magnetic field produced by a device pressed up against the skull. the field strength of a TMS device is in the same neighborhood as MRI.
so, i would think that with much, much stronger field strengths than are used in TMS or MRI, the effects would become more and more severe until seriously bad things start to happen. I can’t guess what, exactly. Someone around here can probably produce an estimate of what will happen at each increase in order of magnitude…
I feel this wikipedia article describes what kind of magnetic fields can be generated.
1.25 T field from permanent neodymium magnet
45T strongest maintained magnetic field
2.8 kT Strongest ever produced (using explosives)
Sound engineer here. If loudness level is the same for both sounds, main thing you will recognize is the timbre. Closest sound will have much more highs than further one, because highs are more easily absorbed by air and humidity itself. Further sounds tend to have rolled off top end.
Also microdynamics are kept with closer sounds, let’s say you have two voices – closest one will have breath sounds, some pops and crackles, you can hear saliva being swallowed and other tiny things that usually slip unnoticed. Furthest voice won’t have any of that.
Another aspect is room reverberation – closer you get, bigger the ratio between reverb and direct sound. Voice far away will sound as loud as room reverb. If you come closer to source, direct signal will get louder and room will stay the same.
Sorry for bad english, its not my first language.
Edit: our mind is one powerful signal processor. We acquire our knowledge and how its sounds even before birth, so a lot of things for our mind are easy, because we are so used to them, that’s why its so hard to understand why we can distinct different sounds. But with good training we are capable even more.
Remembering back to high school physics, low frequency wavelengths will travel further than high frequency wavelengths. When we hear a “sound” it is a combination of many different wavelengths of vibrating air. A sound played quieter and closer to the listener should sound brighter (more high wavelengths retained) compared to the same sound reproduced at a higher amplitude further away.
The shape of the outside part of the ear, the pinna, also helps us differentiate between sounds in front of us and sounds behind us by a similar mechanism. Some audio and electronics companies (eg. Creative, Bose, Samsung and I’m sure many others) exploit this to simulate surround sound from a stereo speaker set up. Like our vision, we have two sensors that let our brain perceive stimulus in three dimensions
I’m a neuroscientist that studies hearing. The main difference would be the difference in intensity (loudness) between your two ears, the Interaural Intensity Difference.
- A sound off to your left but very close will be much, much louder in your left ear than your right ear
A sound off to your left but very far away will be equally loud in both ears.
Your brain has special circuitry in the brainstem that does this math automatically, comparing the differences in intensity and arrival time between the two ears.
The shape of the pinna have nothing to do with localizing distance. Pinna are for differentiating between something in front vs. behind you, and the elevation off of the horizontal plane.
Natural sounds are mainly complex waveforms comprised of fundamental frequencies and their respective harmonics, as well as any additional timbre and tone based additives (yummy). Compile this with the environment they are in and you get additional things that add to the wave known as time based effects. Our ears perceive sonic distances based on time based and dynamic based elements.
Time Based :
The sound reflects off of multiple surfaces getting delayed, confused, and in the end arriving at the ears at slightly different pitches or delayed resulting in various levels of mangle or not-so mangled. Ambiance (and lack of) plays a part when the environment adds reverberation and echos from faint to large amounts. Group all these factors together and in the end our brains can tell calculate which sounds arrived at which ear first, last, or if they arrived at the same time as well as their ambiance structure and place them in our perceived stereo field.
Dynamic Based :
Lower frequencies travel further than higher frequencies. Thats why a voice up close to you quietly sounds crisp, and a voice yelled from across a hall sounds slightly dull (depending on the reflective surfaces). Also, back to the original waveform, a complex wave form will embody whichever character it is being delivered from at its velocity. You can consider the ADSR for Dynamics ( Attack, Decay, Sustain, and Release ), as well as Volume, Velocity, Tone and Timbre.
All these things help us perceive distance, location, and quality of sound.
In addition to the mentioned volume differences between ears, an important factor is that sound waves bounce, causing what is known in the sound engineering world as “reverb”, a certain “muddy”, or unclear, quality of the sound. It happens because unless you are in a completely open or completely padded environment, you hear not only the original source of a sound, but also all its early reflections overlapping in quick succession.
When the source of a sound is nearby, the original wave is much louder than its reflections, because it has travelled (proportionally) much less distance before reaching your ears. Therefore, you hear the original sound clearly.
On the other hand, a distant sound will require about as much distance to reach you as its early reflections, so you will hear several copies of the sound at similar volumes in quick succession, causing the sound to become muddier. Since you are accustomed to muddy sounds coming from distant sources, you will interpret the sound as distant, even with your eyes closed.
Audio engineer here.
Distance is perceived by changes in the timbre of a sound. Boiled down, timbre is essentially the complex, high frequencies that distinguish sounds and make them unique.
Here’s an analogy:
It’s easily compared to looking at a piece of art. Say, if you’re looking at a painting that’s arms length away, you’ll be able to potentially look at each brush stroke or irregularity in the surface of the painting with immense detail. However, if you look at an enlarged version of that painting 50 yards away, you would still see it, but you would undoubtedly have a lot of trouble seeing those same intricate, subtle details as you did when it was at arms length.
Imagine a violin player playing a note quietly immediately in front of you. You would be able to pick up on very discrete, high frequency information that makes up the timbre of that sound. Perhaps you might be able to hear the crispness of the hairs gliding over the bow.
Now if you heard that same sound at the same volume from far away, you might not be able to hear that same level of detail.
Sound waves lose intensity as 1/r^2, similar to gravity. This is basically because your “energy” is traveling as the surface area of an expanding sphere away from a source. This is common in gravity, e&m, etc.
Lets assume that the sound is either directly to your right. A close and quiet sound, like a single headphone, will decay MUCH more significantly. The difference in L-R volume between your ears is greater.
In a far away sound, where most of the energy is already lost (presenting a lower volume to you), there is less loss in the 10 inches between your ears compared to the possible miles the sound has traveled before hand.
Basically, if two sounds have the same apparent volume in your right ear, nearer sounds will be fainter in your left ear and farther, more intense sounds will be more equal across your ears.
Basically its the equivalent of “tidal forces” for acoustics, to bring back the gravity analogy. In this case, its the “tidal volume-difference”.
Many of these answers give you a physics based answer but they do not answer how the brain differentiates sounds. In fact, many of these answers are at least partially wrong in their definitions of timbre, which has nothing to do with our ability to process proximity or loudness. Here’s what we know so far:
The brain can differentiate three components of a wave (first is the actual mathematical component, second is what we interpret it as):
The signal’s amplitude (perceived as loudness)
The signal’s frequency (perceived as pitch)
The signal’s complexity (perceived as timbre)
When sound enters the ears, it will always enter one ear more rapidly than the other due to proximity. Once the proper frequencies are stimulated at the cochlea, the signals are sent to the brain stem. In the brain stem, some signals are sent to what are called the olives of the brainstem. There are two kinds of olives important for hearing: the medial (closer to the middle of the brain) and lateral (towards the sides) olives.
To process the sounds, each of these olives are specialized for a purpose. The medial olives are specialized in determining the proximity of the sound, and the lateral olives are specialized to process the loudness of the sound. So in your case, your brain could process the quiet signal or the loud signal’s proximity and loudness by this manner. Note that there is some crossover in functionality in the brain as well, but this is generally what their specialty is considered to be.
Now there is something that is not well known, and that is how the brain can differentiate between sounds that include the same frequencies at different locations and amplitudes. For example, if you are at a party and there is music and talking, with many of the same component frequencies, how does your brain know how to attribute each of these components to the right people? We’re still working on that!
Acoustics student here. As with direction of sound, the brain simply applies what it measured in previous environments. The brain has an idea of what sounds should sound like and assumes that the difference between what’s expected and what’s measured is due to the environment.
For example, if you’re outside and you hear a gunshot, your brain hears it, relates it to all the things you’ve heard like it in the past, notices that it was missing high frequencies and trailed off gradually rather than all at once. It therefore sends you the message that it’s far away.
The brain doesn’t know why it sounds like this, but it knows that when things sound like this, they’re usually far away. As everyone else is saying, there are a whole bunch of different factors which the brain uses in different cases.
If you can reverse engineer the things that make it sound like that, then you can apply it to whatever you like and trick the brain into sending you the “far away” notice.
Sound encodes a lot of positional information. With a lens, for instance, you could pinpoint the location of sound sources just like you could for light sources.
Without a lens you have to rely on differences in t between when the signal arrived combined with differences in amplitude of those two signals.
If you draw the set of all points that would account for the difference in volume between the two received signals, and the set of all points that would account for the difference in time between the two received signals (left ear and right ear if that wasn’t already clear), and then look at their intersection, you end up with a more or less bounded set. This is a big step, and we actually do this calculation (see passive sonar), but it’s not really good enough to get the information we are capable of extracting.
We pay a lot of attention to echoes as well. sounds that are very close to our ears tend to not have much in the way of echoes. (relative to volume), whereas a sound that comes from far away has many echoes with similar volume as the original signal.
I think passive sonar and acoustics account for most of how we range sounds, but other aspects of the signal such as it’s spectrum, influence how far it can travel. The most obvious example of this is with lightning, and it shows in two ways. The closer the lightning strike is to you, the higher pitch its thunder will have, and the longer you listen to thunder the deeper it gets (because the echoes have travelled farther). Assuming you have some information about the sound you are supposed to be receiving, you could also use this method to range it.
It is true that the timbre of the sound would change over distance (due to low frequencies travelling farther) but I think the MAIN difference would be in the reverberation/delays we hear from sounds far away.
I work with live sound and do sound recording as a hobby, and the best way to make something sound “far away” in a mix is through reverb. When sending a signal through a reverb processor, you can adjust how “wet” or “dry” thie signal is. A 100% dry signal would be only the original source, while a 100% wet signal would be only the reverb, none of the original. The more “wet” the signal is, the farther away it is perceived to be, because you are hearing a higher ratio of reverb to original signal. If a sound is very far away, most of the sound you hear has bounced of other objects along the way. You hear very little of the “dry” sound. So your brain decides that a sound that is mostly reverberated is far away.
Think about listening to a person talking in a room. If they are standing right next to you, you hear the “dry” signal from their voice, and it drowns out most of the reverb you would hear. If they are at the other end of the room, a larger percentage of what you hear is reflected off the walls and ceiling rather than coming straight from their mouth.
It all has to do with how fast the sound waves hit each ear and how loud it is. Using this our ears can localize where the sound is coming from. If something is directly in front of you, it’s hitting both ears at basically the same time. If something is to your left, it hits your left ear first, the sound does go sort of through your head to your right ear, but most of it goes around your head. Your ear hears it even more when the sound gets around your head and also when the sound bounces back off of say a wall and back to your right ear.
At super low frequencies, we have very little ability to distinguish where noises are coming from.
About 20 years ago I wrote a science fair paper about how all that was needed to electronically reproduce surround sound was two speakers. All because of the way that our ears are shaped. The shape of the ear is so that we can tell weather sounds are in front or behind, and combined with stereo hearing from two ears, we are able to localize any sound in three dimensional space (perhaps with some head movement for verification.). NONE of the judges believed it was possible to determine the direction a train was traveling from directly underneath! I got third place. But looking back I realize I had zero sources for any if my claims…
“Hey, there’s room in my tent if you want to join me”
“Thanks, but I brought my own tent!”
And that’s the story of why my friends think I’m socially retarded
Invited me to her house when her parents were out. Then asked if I wanted to see her room.
Stupid teenage me was more curious how the popcorn from the popcorn machine in the kitchen tasted.
I was left home alone for a week during spring break when I was 17. I invited my friends over everyday and they came and went as they pleased. My best friend (female) and I went swimming and got into a conversation about sex with each other. Later that day everyone came to my house and we watched movies on netflix until about 2:30-3:00 ish in the morning. As they left I headed to bed and hear the door close. Next thing I know my best friend got in bed with me and asked can we cuddle so she can stay warm. We sleep and I wake up to our lips touching. I got out of bed and made breakfast. After she ate and left my house I got a text from her saying verbatim “why didn’t you have sex with me I’ve been horny all week”
I was sent a picture of a “halloween” outfit. When i look back and think.. She was just in a bra. I responded with “you’ll be cold”. Woops.
I’ve missed so many, but there are three that still haunt me, to this day:
1.) I was in love with my best friend in high school, but was sure she didn’t see me that way. We spent a lot of late nights on the phone or sneaking out to sit in my car and talk. When we’d hang out and one of our other friends would call, she’d say how she wished we could just keep hanging out alone. I almost told her how I felt two times, and both times she got really annoyed with me when I changed the subject. We once fell asleep side by side and woke up holding each other and for about a three month stretch we meticulously planned out a movie we wanted to make about two people who were in love, but too afraid to tell each other.
2.) A really, REALLY cute girl sat next to me every day in my intro physics class in college. One day, when class ended, she told me she was going to get lunch and asked me what I was doing. I told her “I’ll probably go to my dorm and hang out.” She stopped sitting next to me after that.
3.) When I was 15, I joined cheerleading for lack of a better option for a winter activity. After practice one night, everyone had left but me and this one girl. We sat on one of the lobby couches, her legs across my lap, and she told me about how she had been too afraid to give her ex-boyfriend a blowjob when they were together because she had never done it before and thought she wouldn’t be good at it, but always wanted to try. I proceeded to make many jokes about how disgusting giving a blowjob must be and how bad semen probably tastes.
I’m an incredibly stupid man.
Im as oblivious to the girls that hit on me as they are to my homosexuality.
Oh so many. Just hints of like “It’s getting late, you should stay over” and I respond with “Nah, I really like my bed.”
Or getting a text at 3AM from a girl who said her bed was freezing and if only there was someway for it to heat up. I recommended a jumper.
I’ll tell you, a lot of hints are missed when you are just fucking tired.
Girl in high school came to my house and we made out. We had one of those we argue but we’re actually into each other relationships, and once we kissed I was ready to ask her out. Well, she told me she didn’t want a relationship and I was so confused because I figured all signs point to yes.
Turns out I didn’t hear her correctly: she said she didn’t want a boyfriend… What she really wanted was someone to mess around with. I didn’t pick up on that and ended up asking out a girl I had no interest in, and ruined relationships with both girls. I was not a smart boy.
Back in H.S. we had those Graphing Calculators for Math Class.
Anyways, you could write your own programs on them (If you knew how) or just write a bunch of formulas and notes as the “Code”. The program wouldn’t run, but your could just Edit the code and basically get a “Cheat Sheet”
This cute girl asks me if I could put the formulas into her calculator for the test.
I open “Math1” and the Code said :I THINK YOURE CUTE
Of course, I just assume she wrote this about someone else and it was just an old file. I actually got kind of jealous that she liked someone else. I erased it, put the formula in and give her calculator back.
It wasn’t until later than day that I actually kind of put the pieces together that maybe she liked me.
I’m an idiot.
This was like 9th grade.
A group of girls would follow me as I walked home, never really trying to pretend they weren’t. They never followed me all the way home; when I got to an intersection they wouldn’t follow me. They would catch up to me and talk to me, asking for my number and telling me to get a Facebook. I’m not sure if they were interested in me or just doing this for shits and giggles. Anyways, they did this for a few weeks but eventually they stopped. One girl kept following me and kept trying to talk to me. She seemed sincere but I was a little suspicious, so I always tried to avoid her.
Guess I’ll never really know.
Had a great friend (I thought) who turned out to be interested in me. They never made a single move, and even talked to me about their love life. Bring someone new around… suddenly they’re bitter, mean, and rude. Lesson learned: some people will actually think that you’ve put them in the friend zone, when in fact, they never made a single move toward anything but friendship.
A girl invited to me to her house “to help her study”. I was a REALLY dumb 15 year old. Later, in our school’s confession page, she posted this confession about me.
Oh god, I’ve got this one.
My buddy was dating a girl and we all went out to a bar, she brought a friend too (her roommate). Naturally the friend and I are talking and hitting it off. Later we all go back to their place and my buddy and the girl he’s dating go up to her room. The friend invites me to hers.
Now I’m going to stop right here for a moment. I was 21 and a lot less experienced than I am now (29). Now that we have that caveat in place, let’s continue.
So we go up to her room and we’re making out in her bed (clothes on), there’s a little hand wandering but nothing major. She pulls away for a second and looks me in the eye and asks “Are you big?”. I reply “You tell me”. So she grabs my dick through my jeans and starts basically giving me a handy. We start making out again and then she pulls back and says “Well I won’t really know until you’re inside me”. Now in my retarded fucking brain this meant, ok she is undecided until at some point in the future if she decides she wants to sleep with me, but that time is definitely not now.
We continue making out, but no clothes come off. My buddy and I leave the next day. I never sleep with her. This sequence of events doesn’t strike me as odd, until YEARS later for some reason I am just walking somewhere random and the nights events pop into my head. I then have this reaction http://imgur.com/f9FW2.
Cornering me with her two friends and saying I really like you and want to go out with you. I thought it was a trick and said no. She cried. I really liked her too.
About a year before I started dating my fiance, we had been flirting for months and he texted me, “I wish we were together…” I replied, “Like you wish we were hanging out right now? Yeah, me too!” Totally killed his confidence, hence us being friends for several years before we started dating.